Shock
by 2queens1prince
Summary: A lilacmermaid prompt. An origin fic. Henry and Elizabeth meet in high school at a debate tournament. (That's not the prompt, but that's where we're starting)
1. Chapter 1

January, 1986

Henry McCord shifted uneasily as he watched his competition from across the hotel's grand ballroom. He needed to get his head on straight. This wasn't the time to be lamenting the fact that Olivia, his girlfriend of two years, had broken up with him. He was the Captain for his Central Catholic High School Speech and Debate team. This was the first year that his school had a real shot of doing well at the National Championship Tournament and he desperately wanted to bring home a trophy. He had handily won the first twelve rounds, now there was only one obstacle in his way. His eyes narrowed to slits as he watched her from across the room. Elizabeth Adams, from Houghton Hall Academy, was the one to beat.

Henry and Elizabeth were on rival teams, but somehow through the last four years, they had never managed to actually debate each other. He'd seen her in action though, and she was good.

Elizabeth surveyed her competition slyly, stealing quick glances. Henry didn't seem to be as confident as usual. She'd been watching him during her last three years at Houghton and although, they hadn't gone head to head, she admired him. Today though, he looked nervous, and when you're nervous, you make mistakes. Elizabeth Adams did not make mistakes. She was cool under pressure. Henry McCord was about to take a nosedive. He just didn't realize it yet.

A voice sliced through her thoughts. "Extemporaneous Debate Final Round. Contestants please sign in at the registration table before 1pm." The scratchy voice over the loudspeaker cut out. Elizabeth checked her watch. 12:50. She stood, smoothed the wrinkles from her red tartan plaid skirt and adjusted her red blazer. Rifling through her purse, she pulled out a lipstick. Using a mirror that had been left on the table, she quickly applied the bright red shade, making sure that it didn't smudge. Looking up,she caught her competition watching her. She winked at him before making her way to the registration table.

Henry, flushed red, embarrassed that he'd been caught watching her. Henry wouldn't yet admit it in the midst of his own personal love life turmoil, but Elizabeth Adams was formidable and he found that incredibly sexy. He quickly straightened his tie, slipped his blazer back on and made his own way to the table to register.

They received their debate topics at exactly 1pm. They had 20 minutes to prepare and report to the main stage at 1:25. Elizabeth and Henry opened their instructions at the same time.

_Topic: The United States is safer now than ever before._

Elizabeth flipped the lower half of the page down.

_Position: Opposed_

She grinned. This was going to be a cake walk. She calmly walked back to the table where her teammates were gathered. Opening a file box that set in the middle of the the table, she removed a file folder. She sat down and got to work, furiously jotting notes on cards. Midway through, she glanced up and saw her opponent sitting in a chair alone. His eyes were closed and he generally looked pained. With her play at appearing rattled having no effect, she put her things away and watched him. She genuinely felt the need to go ask him if he was okay, but then thought that maybe this was his way of rattling her. Elizabeth wasn't sure, but his rugged good looks definitely caused her stomach to flutter.

At 1:20, they both stood and made their way to the main stage. Members of their teams sat in the reserved area, along with sponsors and a few parents. Henry wished for a moment that his parents had been able to come, but his father refused to take off work and his mom wouldn't travel without his father. Henry shrugged it off. There would probably be an all school assembly where they would present the trophy. His mom would be there. That might make him feel better, but he doubted it, especially when Olivia would be there too.

Elizabeth looked into the crowd and her friend, Joey, gave her a thumbs up. In moments like these, no matter how hard she tried, she longed for her parents. They'd been dead now three and a half years, so some things were tolerable, but every so often, especially on a special occasion, she would miss their presence. She was thankful for Joey, but even he kept his distance. He lived in constant fear that his father, the King of Bahrain, would somehow know that the two were friends and he'd get pulled from his expensive Western school. So, their relationship consisted entirely on midnight chats on the roof of the dorm. That was fine, but she longed for a real connection with someone. She shook her head, ridding herself of these thoughts. They were useless and had nothing to do with the task at hand. She quickly slid back into character.

Henry stepped toward Elizabeth and extended his hand. "Good luck Miss Adams." As their hands connected, Henry felt an undeniable warmth radiate up his arm.

Their eyes met and Elizabeth's stomach flipped, and not just from nerves. "Thank you, and good luck to you Mr. McCord." She shot him a confident, wide smile and crossed the stage to take her seat.

They began and Henry, as the affirmative position, stated his case first. Elizabeth was impressed. He was good, but she was still better. She took her one minute of cross examination before her two minute presentation of the opposition. She was confident, but Henry was excellent nullifying her two weakest points. Taking a minute to collect their thoughts, both offered rebuttals to the opposing argument and then made final speeches. The entire process took less than twenty minutes, but both Elizabeth and Henry were exhausted by the end.

Before they left the stage to await the results. Elizabeth reached out to Henry and placed her hand on his shoulder. "Nice job," she said.

"Thanks. You're an excellent debater."

In the end, Henry had beat her by one point and Elizabeth gracefully conceded. She was a little disappointed, but Henry had done an excellent job and he deserved to win. After they had both received their medals and trophies, Henry leaned close to her and whispered. "I know you could've beat me if your head was in the game."

She gave him a confused look. "I caught you thinking right before we started." Henry said. "If you had your head in the game, you'd have kicked my ass."

"Not necessarily. I saw you in the ballroom. You've got things that you're thinking about too."

"Maybe. I guess so." Henry looked off in the distance.

They ended up in the same elevator going back to their rooms. It was silent and Elizabeth was starting to grow uncomfortable, although she didn't know what to say. Henry, feeling the same way, broke the silence. "The team is going out to eat tonight, but I really just don't feel like doing the big group thing. I was just going to go downstairs and get a pizza or something. If you aren't doing anything, would you like to join me?"

If truth be told, Elizabeth knew that she would probably go sit with her team in someone's room for a while and she'd just glance at Joey now and then, wishing he could be a real friend to her. After an hour, she'd retreat to her own room and cry herself to sleep. She smiled at Henry. "Yeah, I think I'd like that."

Later that night, Elizabeth stepped out the elevator. She was feeling a little awkward, hoping that her jeans and t-shirt was appropriate attire for hanging out at a restaurant.

She spotted Henry. He had shed his blazer and tie and had his sleeves rolled up to the elbows. The top two buttons of his shirt were unbuttoned, He was leaning back in the chair with his fingers laced behind his head, woven through his sandy brown hair. Elizabeth swallowed the lump that had formed in the back of her throat. He was undeniably attractive. He spotted her immediately and jumped to his feet. "I thought maybe you'd changed your mind," he said.

"I wasn't sure what to wear, so my suitcase is upended." She gave him a self-deprecating smile.

"You look great," he said, and pulled out a chair for her. The room was dimly lit and she was thankful. She hoped he didn't see her blush. It probably was just a platitude. Henry seemed like a gentlemanly sort of guy.

They talked for a while about the tournament and other speech related things and it morphed into sports, her field hockey and his track and field. A large group came in and sat near them, so they scooted closer together to hear each other better. At some point, the pizza tray was emptied and the waiter had stopped filling their glasses.

When colleges came up, Henry shared that he had an ROTC scholarship to Pennsylvania State University and she told of her full ride to University of Virginia. They fell into silence thinking about all of the things that would change in just a few short months. Elizabeth couldn't help but to be melancholy thinking about all of the things she would be doing alone, her parents gone and her brother detached and doing his own thing. She felt his eyes on her.

Elizabeth was never one to back away when she felt uncomfortable in a situation. If that were the case, she would never have accomplished anything. At some point, she just accepted feeling uncomfortable. She turned to meet his stare. Elizabeth had expected him to shy away, but instead he held her gaze, his soft brown eyes boring into her iridescent blue ones "I think you are the smartest, most beautiful person I've ever met," he said.

She let out a small laugh. Henry normally wasn't this forward and perhaps it was because he was still heartbroken over Olivia or maybe it had nothing to do with her. Maybe it was because he knew that Elizabeth was something special, but he didn't think twice about saying those words to her. "It's obvious that you don't hear that enough, but that doesn't mean it isn't true."

"It's a shame we don't live closer or plan on going to the same school. I think we could be good friends," she said. The thought wasn't lost of either that maybe they would've been more than friends.

By midnight, they had been booted from the restaurant and stood in front of the elevators, ready to return to their rooms. On a whim, she invited him to her room.

As they rode the elevator up, a thought occurred to her and she turned to Henry suddenly. "Uh, the invitation doesn't mean that I want to-you know."

"Oh, no! That's not why I coming up. Just talking." He couldn't help but notice the slight change in her eyes at his words. "But, not that I wouldn't be interested under different circumstances. I mean, we barely know each other."

"Right. Of course." The elevator dinged and the door slid open. He followed her down the hall. She stopped about halfway down and inserted the key into the lock. She turned the handle and Henry slid his hand against the door, pushing it open ahead of her. She flipped the lights on and he sat down on one end of the the couch not covered by her clothes. She scrambled to toss her things in the direction of her suitcase before she camped out on the opposite end of the couch. They continued their conversation.

Henry wasn't sure when it was that he told Elizabeth that Olivia had broken up with him. Somehow it lead to a full blown verbal dump of how he thought he'd been in love and how she obviously didn't reciprocate those feelings. When he was finally finished, Henry looked at Elizabeth. "I'm sorry. That was a whole lot of crap to hear that you didn't really care about."

She shook her head. "Try not to take this the wrong way, but it's sort of good to know that I'm not the only one whose life isn't the best."

The look he gave her was nothing short of pleading, and before she knew what she was doing, her guard was down and she told him about her parents and her brother and even how Joey, who was the closest thing she had to a friend, wasn't really. By the time she was done, she realized that somehow they were now sitting much closer to each other than they had started out. Her rational mind knew that this probably wasn't the best idea, but then wasn't being a teen all about doing wild and crazy things and living life carefree? She had never been that girl, but in this moment, she wanted to try it out, even if just for one night.

She leaned into him, until they were only a couple inches apart. "We shouldn't do this," Henry said, his voice so low that it was barely a mumble. Thoughts tumbled around in his head. He knew he shouldn't just fall into the arms of the next girl that happened by. But, at the same time, Elizabeth was here and she had been nothing but wonderful and he was certainly attracted to her.

"Do you want me to not do what I'm about to do?" she asked. Henry placed his hand on her thigh and closed the gap. His lips pressed against hers and she her stomach was full of butterflies. Their lips parted at the same time and her tongue darted out to taste him. Henry met her and it took them a few minutes to find their rhythm with each other. But then she pulled back and stood, holding her hand out to him.

Henry took her hand and stood, placing his hands on her waist, and looked into her eyes. "Are you sure?"

"Yes. Very sure," Elizabeth untucked Henry's shirt and started unbuttoning it. Her hands traveled up his chest. "Very sure." Grabbing his collar, she pulled him toward the bed.

As the daylight started to creep in around the curtains, they untangled themselves from each other and he pushed her blonde locks away from her face. "It's a shame that we don't live closer to one another," he whispered, kissing her.

"Yes. If we were closer, we might make this last. I had a great time, Henry. Thank you." Elizabeth shifted in the bed, sitting up and watching him dress, committing to memory this moment.

Henry turned away and pulled his pants up, buttoning them. He turned back and faced her, and took her hand, pulling her naked form from under the sheets. Up on her knees, at the edge of the bed, he took her in his arms one last time. "No, thank you. You are wonderfully brilliant Elizabeth Adams. I hope someday we meet again."

Henry stepped away and blew her a kiss before leaving the room. As the latch clicked behind him, Elizabeth fell back on the bed both elated and devastated.

Two months later:

Henry sat tapping his pencil on the edge of his desk. He was anxious for this day to be over. He had track practice and had to work a couple hours before going home and tackling one of his last research papers before graduation. He let his mind wander to Elizabeth. He often wondered how she was, or what she was doing. He should've asked for her number or address or something. He was blaming that on the euphoria he'd had that morning, Henry thought about her all of the time. Somehow, Olivia never quite seemed to enter his thoughts anymore. It was always Elizabeth.

"Henry McCord, please come to the office, immediately," the intercom speaker sputtered, eliciting a lot of "oooos" and "uh-ohs" from his classmates. He grinned and quickly packed up his belongings and walked across the building and stepped into the office.

"Hey, Mrs. Pritchett. What did you need?" The secretary looked up.

"It seems that we've become your personal post office," she said, handing him a letter. "Give people your address so I don't have to play mailman."

"Yes ma'am. I'm sorry about that." He looked quizzically at the letter which was neatly addressed with small script to Henry McCord ℅ Central Catholic High School with the school's official mailing address. "Have a nice afternoon Mrs. Pritchett."

Henry stepped out into the hallway and slipped his finger under the flap, tearing it open. He pulled the letter out and opened it. He smiled, seeing Elizabeth's name and phone number, then his jaw dropped and he reread the letter twice before shoving it into his backpack, leaving the building, track practice long forgotten.

_Dear Henry,_

_I really need to talk to you as soon as you read this._

_I'm pregnant._

_Elizabeth_


	2. Chapter 2

AN: So the lilacmermaid prompt was an AU about Henry and Elizabeth becoming parents in high school. I didn't think I could make the story feasible for Elizabeth to have a baby in high school, so I'm going with close enough. I'll try to post at least every other day at least. Thank you so much to all of the people who have commented. This is the first time I've ever had so many comments on a single chapter and it's really humbling. Thanks to those who faithfully read what I put out there. I appreciate you more than you could possibly know.

Chapter 2

Elizabeth sat on her bed with her legs criss crossed in front of her, hands folded in her lap. Her head was down and she chewed her bottom lip. This pretty much summed up what she did with her free time since that day she finally found the courage to take the .

When she first returned from the trip, she was happier than she'd been in a long time. Even though it was just a one time thing and she knew that, she was so happy at feeling connected to someone. It was surreal to actually talk to someone and know that they were investing themselves just as much as she was. It wasn't even about the sex, although it was arguably the best experience she'd had in that department as well.

She was ten days late before she even realized, and thinking back, she might not have even noticed then except for the fact that her breasts hurt. She was used to some tenderness a day or two before she started her period, but even wearing her bra caused throbbing pain to pulse through her chest. When she didn't start and the pain didn't go away, she realized what the problem might be, but it was another three days before she gathered the courage to flip the calendar page back to see exactly how late she was.

Elizabeth was the master of denial. It wasn't happening. She wasn't pregnant. It had only been the one time and they used protection. And then she stopped. It wasn't just once. It was twice. Having only one condom, she assured him that it was too late in her cycle to get pregnant and he'd pulled out just to be sure. The reality came crashing down around her. What had she done?

It was another week before she was able to get off campus and actually get to a real store. Then she had to figure out how to buy a pregnancy test and use it without anyone knowing. Having little privacy usually didn't bother her. But she usually didn't have anything to hide. This was different. Slipping the box under her sweatshirt, she snuck into the bathroom at the back of the local Walgreen's. Within seconds, two pink lines were visible in the test window and she wanted nothing more than to fall apart. But, she was in a Walgreen's with a busload of kids from school waiting outside. This was not the appropriate time. She waited until she thought that everyone would have checked out and she left the bathroom.

Walking slowly up the aisle, she picked up a bottle of ibuprofen, and then stared at it, wondering if she could take it. Suddenly the entire situation was so overwhelming, Elizabeth struggled to stay upright. She knew that if she passed out, there would be questions. They might take her to the ER. Then everyone would know. She pushed forward, holding onto the bottle, picking up a couple chocolate bars at the register. She saw Mr. Jones, the principal, climb off the bus and she knew he was looking for her. She pulled the empty pregnancy test box from under her sweatshirt and slid it across the counter to the checker. The older lady gave her a look and rang it up. She was about to put the empty box into the bag when Elizabeth whispered, "Can you please throw that away?" Her eyes wildly shifted to the man entering the front doors and the checker caught on, sliding the box off onto the floor and out of sight. "Thank you," she mouthed, wondering how she could still function politely in the middle of this. Elizabeth paid and asked the cashier to throw the receipt away.

The lady handed her the bag, but didn't let go when Elizabeth reached for it. "I'll pray for you," she said. Elizabeth was certainly not the praying type, but opted not to mention this. She just nodded, and a solitary tear slid down her cheek.

"Lizzie, what are you doing?" Mr. Jones, asked, seemingly a little irritated at having to wait.

"Sorry, sir. I don't feel well. I was using the restroom," she mumbled and walked out with the head down and climbed into the front seat, hiding her face from everyone.

She spent the rest of that afternoon sitting in the middle of the her bed, weighing her options. No one at school could know or she would be expelled. Her scholarship would likely be taken away if she didn't have final semester grades. Her Great-aunt Joan was her guardian in name only. She was in a nursing home and it seemed that she could barely manage her own life, much less that of her and her younger brother, Will. She would be no help and was probably old fashioned enough that Joan would disown her for being pregnant out of wedlock. She couldn't get a decent job if she didn't graduate. At this point, she couldn't trust anyone. Then the image of Henry flashed through her mind. Henry needed to know, and she had no way to contact him.

She tried to figure out a roundabout way to ask the debate coach if he had all the schools, and when she finally did, he looked at her like she had three heads and told her no. Then the next day, out of nowhere, she remembered that she could call information and ask for an address. She had to wait three days until no one was near the phones to eavesdrop before she could call, but once she called, it was reasonably easy to get the school's address.

The next problem was what to say. If she didn't make it sound urgent enough, he may not call her back and if she told him, he may still not call her. Elizabeth's, now always nauseous stomach flipped, and she thought she might puke for the third time that day. She took a deep breath. Henry didn't seem like the kind of guy to ignore his responsibility, no matter what it was.

After several drafts of the letter, she decided short and sweet was the way to go. She penned it carefully and stuck it in the envelope. She bummed a stamp off of her roommate and placed the letter in her backpack. This wasn't a letter that could go through the school mailroom. She waited. It was a full week before she could catch a bus going into town. She had an hour and walked aimlessly downtown, keeping an eye on where her other classmates were. When she was sure that no one was around, she dropped the letter in the mailbox. Once back on the bus, she thought a weight would be lifted, and it was to a certain extent, but it was just replaced by the weight of wondering if Henry would call and what he would have to say.

That's how she found herself sitting in the middle of her bed everyday after class, mulling over her options. It became increasingly clear that there was only one option and she hadn't the faintest idea how she would get that accomplished.

Henry ran the entire way home as hard as he could. Blowing through the front door, he glanced up at the clock on the wall. He had about 30 minutes before his youngest sister got home from school, followed by the rest of his family within the hour. He sat down on the end of the couch and put the phone in his lap. For a split second he thought about how his parents would kill him for making a long distance call without asking, then he groaned when he realized that in the near future, his phone call would be the least of their issues with him.

He picked up the receiver and dialed the number. It rang three times before a sing songy voice answered. "Houghton Hall, girls dorm."

Henry had given no thought to Elizabeth being in boarding school. Obviously she wouldn't be at home. "Uh, can I talk to Elizabeth Adams please?"

"Sure. Can I tell her who's calling?" the girl asked.

He thought about that. She probably didn't want anyone to know about him, so he replied. "She'll know who it is. Thanks." Henry hoped he didn't come off as abrasive as he felt. "_What the hell was going on anyway?"_

He heard the phone drop on the other end and was afraid that no one would come when he heard a rustling and a soft "Hello?" on the other end.

"Elizabeth?" he asked. He heard a muffled sob on the other end of the phone, and he had trouble controlling his own emotions. "How are you?"

"I'm pregnant. That's how I am," she murmured. "This is such a mess."

"You're sure you're pregnant? I thought you said we were okay."

"I thought we were okay, especially when you pulled out. Obviously I was wrong."

"Oh God. This is bad," he said.

"I'm well aware of how horrible this is. I've had a few weeks to live it. Thanks."

Henry took several deep breaths trying to clear his mind. "I need some time to think about this. I don't know right off what we can do, but I've only know about this for less than an hour. I haven't really had time to think about it." He heard her gasp.

"We?" she asked through her tears.

"Of course, we. I am trusting that you told me because the baby is mine, right?" he said.

Elizabeth went on the defensive. "How dare you suggest," she hissed into the phone.

"Whoa. You're the one acting like you're surprised that I want to help. I assumed that it was a given that it was mine."

"Sorry," she whispered. "I'm just so on edge. I feel sick all of the time and I can't think straight. There's only one possible solution to this problem and I don't see how I can get that accomplished quickly. I am literally stuck here until I graduate in May. Wait." The other end went silent. A whole minute passed before Elizabeth spoke again. "Someone was in the room. I can't talk when people are around."

"What's the only possible solution?" Henry asked, growing uneasy.

"I have to have an abortion." Elizabeth said softly.

Henry sighed, closing his eyes. "Please, let's think about this. There has to be another way. I can't be on board with that."

"And exactly what else do you suggest? No one can know. I'll get kicked out of school. I'll lose my scholarship. I have no family that can help. No job. I can't even support myself right now, let alone someone else."

"I know. I know. What about adoption?" he suggested.

"That sounds great in theory, but do you have any idea what that would do to me? I'd always be-" and she stopped for several seconds. He could hear her breathing. Then she started back up again. "The girl who got knocked up. I want an education, to be a professional. I want to do things, be taken seriously. I just can't."

"It's the 80's. People are more open now. It wouldn't be like that," Henry argued.

"Are you kidding me? Tell me about the last girl that you knew that got pregnant out of wedlock. I bet your family wasn't inviting her over for dinner." Elizabeth's voice cracked and he knew she was crying again. The last thing he wanted to do was make her cry. He thought about the only two girls he knew that had been pregnant in high school. One was a girl in his class and she was sent away to live with an aunt. She hadn't returned. The other was a distant cousin and her family basically shunned her and she moved in with her boyfriend into a dilapidated trailer outside of Pittsburgh. He thought she was waitressing.

"Point taken," he said finally. "Just promise me that you won't do anything drastic yet." When she didn't respond, he added, "Please?"

"Okay. I really can't do anything until I graduate anyway. I can't leave without permission from my aunt and it's not like I can call her and tell her that. It would probably kill her." Elizabeth rested her head in her hand. She needed to end this call. She had no idea how draining it would be.

"Thank you. Are you able to make calls or are there rules about that?" he asked.

"I can make and receive calls before 9," she said.

"Would you be willing to call me next Monday night? I need to think about what other options there are. Maybe we can talk it out some more." Henry was so overwhelmed with the thought of telling his parents. His father may quite possibly kill him. He would be so pissed off, and it would break his mother's heart. He knew she had high hopes for him and being 18 with a baby would ruin it all.

Elizabeth's voice brought him out of his reverie. "I can do that. It will probably be after 8 though, when there isn't hardly anyone in the lounge." She paused and Henry almost thought she'd hung up when she spoke again. "I'm very pragmatic Henry. I've spent the last month running almost every scenario imaginable and there's only one way that I can have any hope for a decent future."

Henry's head dropped. "I know," he whispered. "I've got to go. Call me next Monday and we'll talk. And Elizabeth? I'm sorry."

"Thanks. I'm sorry too. I'll be in touch." Elizabeth hung up the phone and went back to her room.

She'd only been back in her room for a few minutes when there was a pounding on her door and it opened before she could respond. Her head shot up and she quickly wiped the tears from her eyes. "Will? What do you want?"

"Hi to you too!" he shot back.

"That's not what I mean. I have barely seen you in the last couple of months. No one even realizes we're siblings except when Aunt Joan sends someone to pick us up and we get in the same car."

"Well. Maybe they would if you ever left your room. Kendra says something is up with you. You're even more hermit than usual."

Elizabeth sighed. "_Of course, sweet and concerned Kendra would go find Will and tell him that his sister was messed up." _She'd been bugging Elizabeth for the last month Elizabeth liked her roommate well enough, but certainly not well enough to share anything beyond her impressions of the weather and the quality of lunch. "I'm fine," she finally said. "I'm trying to figure out what we're going to do this summer. What do you feel like doing?"

"Yeah, that's why I came to see you. Mark's family has that adventure camp thing in Colorado. He asked me if I wanted to go work there this summer. It would be free lodging and I get paid to take people on horseback riding trails and stuff like that." Will shifted, scuffing his toe on a worn place in the carpet. He took a deep breath. "I think it would be good for me. You know-to get out and do my own thing."

Elizabeth forced herself to swallow the lump in her throat. "You know. That sounds fun, and I know you'd enjoy it. When would you leave?"

"About that. I'd have to leave that Friday right after finals are over. The job starts Monday and Mark has to drive home."

Elizabeth unconsciously chewed her bottom lip. "So, you'd be gone-"

"For your graduation, yeah. If you want, I could try to fly out of here Sunday afternoon, but then I'd need to find a ride up to the ranch and I don't really know anyone well enough yet to ask."

"It's okay Will, I get it. That would be difficult. Tell Mark you'll go ahead and go with him, but you have to promise that you'll at least call me to give me a phone number, just so I can bug you every once in a while and make sure they haven't thrown you off a mountain." She did her best to give him a genuine smile.

"Thanks, sis," Will studied her for a moment. She was unnerved by his stare, but held it, knowing that if she broke away too soon, he'd read her and then she might have to divulge too much information. "You're sure you're fine?" he asked finally.

"Really Will. It's nothing I can't handle." Elizabeth stood and gave him a hug, which he shrugged out of. "You'll at least come say goodbye and give me your number, right?" He nodded before leaving the room and Elizabeth fell back on her bed and wept.


	3. Chapter 3

AN: Thank you to those who have signed up for this little adventure. I hope you enjoy the next installment.

Chapter 3

Henry waited by the phone a week and a half later and when it rang at 8:15, he practically knocked his sister, Maureen, to the ground to get it. "Hello?" he said, slightly out of breath.

"Henry?" she asked, keeping her voice low as there were still other people on the opposite side of the lounge.

"Yeah. How are you doing?"

"I'm alright I guess. I'm not throwing up four times a day now, usually just once in the morning when I get up and maybe again before lunch. I guess that's an improvement."

"Yeah." Henry wasn't sure what to say. "I've been doing a lot of thinking about things and I want to help you, but I just can't get behind what you want to do."

"You can't even say it?" Her voice was full of contempt. "You-"

"That's not it at all. I need you to be aware of where I am right now, okay?" Henry whispered into the phone. His sister, Erin, looked up from her spot on the couch and he turned away from her.

"You want to destroy my future," Elizabeth said, forcing herself to keep her voice low.

"I don't. I just want to not destroy someone else's to save yours," Henry wasn't articulating himself well and he felt like she'd already made up her mind. "What if I helped you?"

"That will work well when you are states away," she muttered. "Sending a check every once in a while isn't going to be much in the way of help."

"No. Wait a sec." Henry eyed his sisters who were both intently watching him from across the room. He shot them an evil eye hoping that they would go away, but when they didn't, he pulled the excess phone cord from behind the couch and took the phone to the bathroom and locked the door behind him. "I already called the recruiting officer. I can transfer my ROTC scholarship to UVA, and there's room for me if I want to join there. The officer at UVA said so. I will physically be there to help you."

"And the social stigma of being an unwed mother? The guy gets the benefit of being a ladies' man, a player, and I am just a slut that was unlucky enough to get knocked up," Elizabeth spat. "I won't do that. My parents would be so disappointed." Even the thought of her parents in the middle of this was enough to make Elizabeth fall apart.

"But your parents would be fine with you killing a baby?" Henry asked and even as the words left his mouth he regretted them.

"Fuck you!" she scowled and hung up.

"Damnit," he muttered and set the receiver back into the cradle He sat on the edge of the tub and rubbed his eyes. "_What am I going to do now?"_ It wasn't that he didn't understand her concerns. On an intellectual level, he totally got it, although he conceded that he probably really didn't fully understand since he wasn't facing it. However, he'd always been raised to believe that abortion was wrong, altogether, flat out, no two ways about it, and to condone aborting his own baby, he just couldn't. A sob forced its way out and he slapped his hand over his mouth to muffle the noise.

Someone knocked. "Yeah?" he answered, doing his best to use an even voice.

"Henry? Do you really think you need to be having a conversation with someone while you're in the bathroom?" his mother, Evelyn, asked.

"Sorry Mom. The girls kept trying to eavesdrop, so I was trying to get away from them," Henry replied.

"Come to the kitchen. We need to talk."

Henry heard her move away from the door. "Fuck," he muttered. He couldn't let her find out. Not now. Not yet. He quickly washed his face and replaced the phone back on its little table before going into the kitchen. Henry grabbed a glass from the the cabinet and filled it with water before sitting down.

"It's time you level with me," she said. Henry did his absolute best to give her a blank stare. "Don't do that. Something is going on. You haven't been right since Olivia broke up with you. Are you having trouble working through that?"

He answered before he thought it through. "No." Henry wanted to kick himself. Saying yes would've taken care of it, but he didn't really lie to his parents. Sometimes he withheld information that he didn't necessarily think they needed, but he didn't out and out lie to them. His mother was staring at him. He hated it when she did that. "It's kind of like this. I met a girl at the Debate Tournament. We kind of hit it off and I've just been thinking about her a lot. She just called me and wants to do something that I think is a terrible idea and I told her so and now she's mad. I'm just upset about it is all."

"Henry, how invested are you in this girl? I mean you don't know her well, do you?" Evelyn asked.

"Not very well," Henry admitted.

"Okay. Is the decision going to hurt her?" Evelyn asked.

"You're going full on Socratic method with me, Mom?" Henry joked, but Evelyn just looked at him. "It might, but I think she sees what she's doing as the best option she has, and although I offered other things, she doesn't see them as being helpful."

"It sounds like you need to let her do what she wants and just try to support her," his mother said. Henry nodded. That was easy for her to say when she didn't know it was her grandchild they were discussing.

"Okay. Oh hey, I forgot to tell you I called her the other day. She asked me to call her right away and no one was home to ask." He dug into his pocket and pulled out ten dollars. "If this isn't enough to cover the phone call, let me know. And, if it's alright, would it be okay if I called her back later this week and checked up on her?"

"You like her?" Evelyn raised her eyebrows at her son.

"Maybe I could've if things were different. I don't want her to do something hurtful though. It's kind of confusing." His mom eyed him to the point that he wondered if she'd figured it out.

She blinked and said, "You should probably go ahead upstairs and finish up any homework you have. You have a track meet tomorrow, right?"

Henry nodded. "Thanks Mom. Love you." He leaned over and gave her a hug.

"Love you too, Henry."

Elizabeth slammed the phone down and walked out the door. At that point, it didn't matter that it was ten minutes before lights out and she could get into trouble. She couldn't stop the tears. Her fists were clenched and she rounded the corner and the building and hid under the fire escape. Elizabeth buried her face in her knees and sobbed.

Ever since her parents died, all she wanted to do was to make them proud. Since their death, she worked harder in school than ever before, participated in groups and sports that she wasn't really interested in, and excelled in all of them, because she just wanted to be the best. She wanted to show her parents that they could be proud and all it took was one indiscretion, one poor choice, and she'd ruined it all. She should've known better, paid closer attention, not been so needy, something.

What pissed her off the most was that Henry was probably right. Her parents had never been religious, but they cared about people. They helped out at soup kitchens and always gave away her and Will's outgrown clothes to organizations that helped those less fortunate. Her mother loved babies and would always take notice if she saw a new mother on the street and tell her how beautiful her baby was. Her mother would've been an excellent grandmother. Thinking these thoughts only made her more upset.

She cursed Henry for bringing it up. It was easy for him to say such things. He had nothing on the line. No one would think poorly of him. It wouldn't be the same for her. She wouldn't be accepted to law school with a toddler running around after her, assuming she could actually go to college in the first place. If she kept this baby, she would end up in some dead end secretarial or food service type job and barely be able to stay afloat. She had worked too hard for that and her parents deserved better.

Elizabeth wiped her eyes on her sleeve and stood. She went up the fire escape to the second floor and snuck inside the building where she went straight to her room and crawled under the covers, not saying a word to Kendra, who looked on with concern.

It wasn't until Thursday evening when Henry finally gathered the nerve to call Elizabeth. As the girl who answered the phone went to get Elizabeth, Henry's nausea climbed. He was actually afraid of what she might say when, or maybe even if, she answered the phone. Several minutes had passed and Henry thought that he should hang up. He was just about to when she picked up. "Hello."

"Hi, Elizabeth," he said, almost timidly.

"Henry." Her tone was clipped.

"I called to apologize. I was way off base. What I said was uncalled for and I'm sorry."

"Alright." Henry waited, but that was all she said, so he continued on.

"My position remains the same, but I want to support you. If you think this is your only course of action, I will come down and be with you," he said.

"That's not necessary, Henry. I'll be fine."

"You don't need to do it by yourself. Not this. We aren't talking about you getting a filling. It's a surgical procedure. Someone should be with you." She was silent. Henry wasn't sure if she was still there. "Elizabeth?"

"Yes?"

"Are you okay?"

"No, not really." She paused. "You'd come all the way from Pittsburgh just so I wasn't alone?"

"Yes. Just let me know when and I'll be there and I'll stay until I know you're okay."

Elizabeth bit her quivering lip. "Okay. I'll let you know." She waited a few seconds. "Thank you."

"This isn't your fault. It's our fault, and I want to do be there for you. Please let me."

"I'll call you when I make the appointment. Bye, Henry."

"Bye."


	4. Chapter 4

AN: Thank you to all those who have been kind enough to leave reviews. I appreciate it very much.

Chapter 4

As luck would have it, Henry and Elizabeth graduated the same day. Henry spent a week flipping out, worried that she would graduate before he did and he'd have to figure out how to go to her and make up his finals. Dodging that bullet, he now just had to convince his parents to let him go to wherever it was that Elizabeth was having the abortion, without telling them that's what he was doing.

There wasn't a clinic in Wilmington, Delaware, where she went to school, so Elizabeth ended up making an appointment for the Monday after graduation at a clinic in Philadelphia. She had to go a preliminary appointment on Monday and then wait the 24 hour period before she could have the abortion. She went ahead and scheduled the appointment to have the abortion on Tuesday.

It seemed like since this whole nightmare began there were certain benchmarks that she thought would make her feel better, but was wrong every time. She thought that finally having a plan and making the appointment would help, but her anxiety was higher than ever. Luckily it was only two more weeks and it would be over. She clung to that.

Henry sat down with Evelyn the day that Elizabeth called with information about the appointment. The whole thing still made him ill, but he had made his case and ultimately it was her choice. Just because he didn't agree, didn't mean he would leave her to deal with the fallout alone. "Mom, I'm going to ask you something. It's going to seem somewhat off the wall, but you know how I told you about the girl I met?" Evelyn nodded. "She's alone and she's doing something in a couple weeks that she really shouldn't be alone for. I'd like to drive to Philadelphia to stay with her for a few days."

Evelyn leaned back in her chair and studied Henry. "I don't know that I think that is a good idea. You don't know her very well. And she wants you to come to Philadelphia."

"Actually she said she didn't need anyone, but she does Mom and she just doesn't know it yet. I can't explain it all, but I really need to be there," Henry didn't want to elaborate, and he wasn't sure what he would do if she pressed him.

"When?"

"The Tuesday after graduation. I'm already off that week anyway and it would probably just be Tuesday and Wednesday, and maybe Thursday. I'm not sure. She might throw me out before then."

"How do I know there won't be any, how shall I say it, shenanigans, with this girl?"

"Well, Mom, you don't know, other than I promise there won't be. I will only be there to make sure she's okay. I know it's a big ask, but I try to be a good friend and this is something that I feel I need to do. Please?"

"It's fine with me. But, I suppose you want me to sell this to your father?"

Henry grinned. "If you'd do that, you'd be the best." He winked at her and she laughed.

"I already am the best!"

"You are Mom. You are the best." Henry hugged her and left the kitchen both lighter and heavier than he'd been in weeks. He'd managed to get to Philadelphia without outing the two of them, but the reason he was going left him heartbroken. He trudged up to his room. Only two more weeks.

Henry graduated with honors on the second Sunday in May. Everyone was congratulating him and he knew this should be a happy day, but he just couldn't enjoy it, not knowing what was going on with Elizabeth. They'd talked a few days prior and Elizabeth spoke a little about her situation-her great-aunt being elderly and not in the best of health and her brother, Will, leaving for Colorado. He stood in his living room, surrounded by his family and a few friends and all he could think about was Elizabeth, and how hard it would be to have only himself to rely on. Henry considered himself pretty self reliant, but he still went to his parents for so many things, even just advice about what he should do. He felt bad knowing she was alone.

As soon as most of his family left, Henry snuck off to call Elizabeth. He wasn't sure if he would be able to reach her. But, someone immediately picked up and went to get her. He heard running steps, "Hello?" she asked, breathlessly.

"Hey there! Happy graduation," he said.

"Oh, hi Henry. Thanks." She didn't bother trying to keep the disappointment out of her voice.

"I know I'm not on the top of your list of people to talk to, but you could feign a little enthusiasm," Henry teased.

"I'm sorry. I was just hoping for a call from someone else, that's all. I do appreciate that you took the time from your day to call me. It's nice to know that someone cares. Thank you," she said. Henry could tell that she was sad. It felt kind of dumb. He didn't really know her, but just talking to her over the past few weeks, he was surprised that he cared as much as he did. She would have the abortion, he'd make sure she was fine and then he'd come home and probably never see her again. It made him feel so empty and he hated that. He changed the subject.

"Will didn't call?" he asked.

"No, but he's probably still on the road or setting up his space. It's okay," she said softly, trying to mask the hurt.

"It's not and you should tell him that you need more," Henry told her.

"I take care of him, not the other way around," Elizabeth stated matter of factly.

"But who takes care of you?" Henry wanted to know.

"I don't need anyone." Henry hung his head. He thought she did, but he didn't argue. He finalized arrangements for Tuesday. She gave him the address of the clinic and had already found a motel nearby that she planned on staying at Monday night and would just stay through Tuesday. If she was feeling okay, she was going back to Virginia for a few days to visit her aunt Joan and then decide what she was doing for the summer. He said his goodbyes and told her that he would be there at 10:00, in time for her appointment.

Elizabeth's grades had fallen in the last quarter of the year, but luckily her third quarter grades were so high that she still maintained As for her semester grades, which was what counted for her GPA. She still graduated valedictorian, which was important for her in her quest to make her parents proud of her. It hurt that she had no one there, but everyone was so involved in their own things that it went unnoticed. The only bright spot in her day was the few minutes she talked to Henry on the phone. She returned to her room and packed her meager belongings into two suitcases and a backpack and as soon as it was dark, she walked to the bus station to catch a late bus to Philadelphia.

Elizabeth slept very little on the long bus ride and even less once she finally made it to the motel. She had a preliminary exam first thing Monday morning. Yes, she was pregnant and she was healthy enough to have the procedure. Once back at the motel, Elizabeth turned on the TV and stared at it, but wasn't paying any attention. Her thoughts were on Henry and how mad he would be when he arrived and found that she'd already had the abortion. She told him 10:00 when it was really at 8:30, but she couldn't take the chance on him showing up and begging her to change her mind. It was a lot easier to stay strong and state her case over the phone. She didn't know that she would be able to be as convicted if she were standing face to face with him.

That perplexed her. All of her reasons were valid: people would judge her, she wouldn't be able to go to college and get a decent job, she would lose her scholarship, she would have no support. It wasn't like her to be so wishy-washy once she'd made up her mind. She finally pointed the remote at the TV and when the picture vanished, she pulled the covers over her head and waited for the next day to come.

She was up before the sun the next morning, her stomach in knots. Elizabeth hadn't had any morning sickness in a week now, and she was actually feeling human again. She knew it was just nerves. She showered and stood in front of the mirror hung on the back of the bathroom door. She was a few days shy of sixteen weeks, almost four months. She had a tiny bump now that made wearing her uniform skirt uncomfortable. She unintentionally placed her hand there. Elizabeth wondered if it would go away and her flat stomach would return or if she would always carry the reminder. Shaking her head, she got dressed and ate a granola bar and headed out toward the clinic.

Elizabeth arrived at 8:15, where she was greeted warmly and signed in. She was called back and asked several questions about whether or not she knew what she was doing. Of course she did. The granola bar churned in her stomach. After being told she would be called in a few minutes, she returned to the waiting room. Elizabeth sat with her head down, staring into her lap. A few other people came in. She couldn't help but wonder if they were there for the same reason. She didn't make eye contact. It seemed like she was waiting forever. Having not slept well the past several weeks, exhaustion overtook her and she dozed off.

"Lizzie, what on Earth did you do?" Suzanne Adams asked. Eight year old Lizzie stood next to her mother's prize rose bushes, which were completely stripped of their beautiful flowers. Lizzie held the garden scissors in her hand.

Tears sprang to her eyes. "I just wanted to make you a bouquet of roses, for your dresser, because they're pretty like you." With that she dropped the scissors and started sobbing with her face hidden in her hands.

She felt herself being lowered into her mother's lap and Suzanne wrapping her arms around her devastated self. "Lizzie girl, you will do things in your life that don't turn out like you think they will. That happens to everyone. What sets some people apart is how they deal with it when it happens. You always have a choice in how you handle things. No matter what happens in your life Lizzie, your dad and I will always love you. Things will work out like they are supposed to."

"Adams." Elizabeth's head snapped up and looked at the young brunette in light blue scrubs, a surgical mask hanging from one ear. "I can take you back now." She gave Elizabeth a kind smile. Elizabeth stood and took two steps toward the woman. She stopped and looked around at the three other women in the waiting room. One looked younger than her and was sitting beside a middle aged woman that Elizabeth guessed might be her mother, although the two looked nothing alike. The third woman had her head tilted down resting on her hand. Elizabeth could tell she was quite a bit older than her, maybe 30. In that moment, she wondered what brought people to this place. What made them make this decision? Why was she here? The weight of that question forced her back, and she actually took a step back. "Miss Adams, are you alright? They're ready for you."

She held her finger up to the woman. "Just a minute," she mumbled. "I have to think." _Why am I here? _There was a voice deep within her that spoke up. _I am here because I'm afraid. Afraid of how people will treat me. Afraid of their judgments. Afraid that I will lose what I've worked so hard for. Afraid that no one would ever want to be with someone who already has a child. Afraid that I won't ever be as good a mother as my mother was to me. _She looked at the nurse. "I can't do this. I'm not here for the right reasons. I have to go."

Elizabeth turned on her heel and walked out the door. The warm, humid air hit her in the face and she squinted her eyes against the sun. She let out a shuddering breath. _What did I just do? I took control. I am going to act, not react._

"Elizabeth!" Henry called, jogging up the sidewalk. He glanced down at his watch. It was almost 9:30. She turned and faced him just as he stepped close. He was caught off guard when she threw her arms around his neck and cried. "What's going on?" She didn't answer, but clung to him, her tears wetting the front of his t-shirt. He just held her. When her crying slowed, he started to enter the building, but she caught his hand and pulled him back.

Confusion sat in the lines across Henry's forehead. "My appointment was at 8:30. I didn't want to have to argue with you before going in."

Henry dropped his head. "I said I would support you even if I didn't agree with you. I didn't come to try and convince you otherwise. It's done then?"

"It's barely started." She paused, taking him in. He looked like he hadn't slept. She probably looked the same. "I couldn't do it Henry. I just walked out."

Henry couldn't believe his ears. "So, you're not going to-" he started, but Elizabeth interrupted him.

"I don't think so. It's not off the table, but I need a few days to really think about every option and not base it on my fears." There was more she wanted to say, but Henry swept her into a hug of his own.

"What are your plans? Do you have to go back to Virginia?" She shook her head. "Then come home with me. We'll work it out together."

"I can't just invade your home Henry. Your parents will hate me as it is. I'm not living there," Elizabeth protested.

"My mom will be fine after the shock wears off and she'll keep my dad in line. I swear. I have 2 sisters and a brother. We'll figure out a place for you to stay. Things will work out like they're supposed to."

Elizabeth's mouth dropped open as she remembered her mother's words from her dream and she relented. "We have to stop by the motel to get my things. Then we can go." Henry put his arm across her shoulders and kissed the top of her head as they walked back to his car. For the first time in a couple months, she could breathe. Nothing was solved, the problem still existed, but she was taking charge of the situation and she wasn't doing it alone.


	5. Chapter 5

AN: Here's the latest installment. I hope you enjoy it. Thank you for the encouragement. It's always a great feeling when someone enjoys what I'm writing.

Chapter 5

Henry glanced over at Elizabeth. She was propped against the passenger window, her head resting on an old sweatshirt of his, fashioned into a pillow. She'd been asleep before they made it out of Philadelphia. He knew how sleep had evaded him over the past couple months, he couldn't imagine how exhausted Elizabeth must be. He hoped she could sleep the whole way.

Two emotions ran concurrent through Henry-elation and terror. He couldn't believe that as set as Elizabeth had been to have the abortion, that she would change her mind. He'd like to believe it was his prayers, but she probably had a much different rationale.

The flip side was that now they had to make a plan, together. And, maybe even a more pressing issue-he had to tell his parents and ask them if Elizabeth could move in. The contents of his stomach churned just thinking about having that conversation with his dad. Patrick McCord was a hard man, set in his ways. Maybe the only positive nod he might get from this whole ordeal was that he was stepping up. Of course, Henry knew he'd never actually hear those words come from his father's mouth. He'd be dead long before that.

Checking his watch, Henry knew they were about an hour outside of Pittsburgh. They hadn't stopped to eat, because Henry didn't want to wake Elizabeth. If they timed it right, maybe they could hit the hospital cafeteria and pick up something and they could see his mom on break. Evelyn was an ICU nurse and was on shift tonight until 7. His mom was definitely the more level headed of his parents and he hoped to have her acceptance so she could help keep Patrick in line.

"Elizabeth, hey, wake up." Henry nudged her arm as he put the car in park. She let out a little moan and stretched as much as the car seat would allow.

She looked around. "Why are we in a parking garage? I thought you lived in a house."

Henry chuckled. "I do. We are at the hospital. My mom's a nurse here. I'm about to go bare my soul and hope for the best. Do you want to eat something? Surely you have to be hungry."

"Actually, for the first time in a long time, I am." Henry walked around and opened the car door for her. Henry walked Elizabeth to the cafeteria and she chose a sandwich, chips and a water.

"I'm going up to the ICU to try and catch my mom and talk to her when she's on break. I'll come back down to get you when I'm done. Will you be okay here by yourself?"

Elizabeth laughed, "I'm good. I spend a lot of time by myself. I always have a book." She patted her purse, laying beside her in the booth.

Henry nodded, "Wish me luck." Elizabeth gave him a thumbs up and he turned to walk away.

"Hey Henry." He looked over his shoulder. "Please don't try to push me on your parents. If it doesn't work out, it will be okay. I'll figure something out. I always do."

Henry felt like he'd been hit in the chest. He forced the corners of his mouth to curl into a smile. "Don't worry about it. No big deal." The walk to the ICU was long and Henry had equal time to consider what he was going to say to his mom and feel devastated for Elizabeth. He decided what was most heartbreaking about her statement was that there was no sadness involved, just a statement of fact. Henry had no idea what they would end up being, but he hoped he would be close enough to her that he could make her feel special and cared for.

He rounded the corner and Roberta, another nurse on the floor, looked up. "Henry! What brings you up here? I haven't seen you in quite a while."

"I'm looking for Mom. How have you been? Is Darren still running track? I didn't run into him this season," Henry said, referring to Roberta's son, who attended the local public school.

"Nah, he had a pretty serious hamstring pull early in the season and sat this one out. I'll go find her for you. She needs a break anyway. I think she skipped lunch." Roberta disappeared down the hall and Henry leaned against the counter, steadying himself. This was likely going to be the most difficult conversation he was ever going to have. The one later tonight when he told his father, notwithstanding.

"Henry?" Evelyn called, sticking her head out of a room, motioning him toward her. "Is something wrong? I thought you were going to stay in Philly tonight and tomorrow."

"Do you have a minute? Some things changed and I'd like to talk to you." An odd expression crossed his mother's face, but she said, "Go sit in the waiting room. I'll be there as soon as I finish this up." Henry nodded and retreated back the the large room near the elevator. He'd only been sitting for a few minutes when Evelyn appeared in the doorway. She tossed her head to the side and he rose to follow her.

Noticing the cigarette and lighter in her left hand, he said, "I thought you quit."

"I did." She gave him the side-eye. "Maybe I won't need it, but I brought it just in case." If there had been anything in Henry's stomach, he was sure he would've thrown it up right there. Evelyn led him out a side door which opened into a small garden area. It must have been for employees, because Henry had never seen anyone out here ever.

"So. Did you go to Philly or was that just a ruse?" Evelyn started.

Henry's mouth dropped open. She was never one to mince words. "I did, but I didn't need to stay so I came back." He took a deep breath and started talking before he lost his nerve or before his mother could come up with another alternate version of what he'd been doing. "My friend, Elizabeth, the girl I told you about, the one from the Debate tournament?" Evelyn nodded her recollection. "She's pregnant and she had an abortion scheduled for this morning. She got there and she couldn't go through with it." _Okay, doing good so far. Now for the hard part._

"Why pray tell did you get to be the one in charge of the care and keeping of this girl?" Evelyn eyed him and he was sure she'd figured it out. There was no reason to try and be subtle at this point.

"Because I'm the father of the baby," he said.

"Aw, fuck, Henry." She quickly put the cigarette to her lips and lit it, taking a long drag. She held if for a long time before blowing the smoke out. "I should've brought two with me." She sat for a moment before a look of horror crossed her face. "The thing that she wanted to do but you didn't think was a good idea. The abortion?" Henry looked away. "Christ Henry. If I'd known what we were talking about, I never would've have said what I said about just supporting her to do what she wanted to do."

"I know Mom. I just spent a lot of time praying that she would change her mind." They sat in silence for several minutes.

"So the tournament huh?" Henry nodded. "Perhaps I should be pissed at the chaperones who obviously weren't supervising."

"Perhaps you could be pissed at your son who made a seriously boneheaded move." Evelyn laughed maniacally at his pun and when Henry realized, he blushed. "Stop, mom."

"Fear not Henry, I'm pissed at you. What possessed you to take up with someone you don't even know?" she asked.

"I was dealing with Olivia and we got to talking and then it just happened, but can we please not go over this part of it? You're my mom and that's just weird."

"So now what's the plan? You said she doesn't have anyone. Is she just staying in Philly by herself?"

"She's in the cafeteria. I want her to stay with us this summer. She goes to UVA in the fall. She's more than willing to get a job and pay rent or whatever you want her to do. We need to make a plan and we really need face time to make that work. Can she stay?"

Evelyn took another drag off her cigarette. "Not exactly fair to bring her here and then ask, you know?"

"You'd say yes regardless. I just skipped a step."

"You're probably right. I'm not smoothing this over with your father. This is all on you," she said, raising an eyebrow at him.

Henry nodded his understanding. "I figured."

Evelyn took one last drag off the cigarette and snuffed it out in the ashtray by the door. "Let's go meet this girl. Give me the highlights. What's her name again? Where's she from? And how far along is she?"

"Elizabeth Adams, originally from Virginia, but went to boarding school in Delaware and she's almost four months. You'll like her Mom. She's really smart and kind and she doesn't want to be a bother. And, even though she doesn't know it yet, she needs us." Evelyn gave him a confused look. "She's been alone for a long time. She needs to be part of a family."

"Be careful about plotting and planning what someone else needs," Evelyn warned. Henry opened his mouth, but closed it again. They walked in silence more than half the way.

Henry finally looked at his mom and said, "Thank you."

"I'm still pissed. You've just made your life a whole lot harder than it had to be."

"I know, but we'll figure it out." Evelyn gave him a look that he couldn't quite read. Rounding the corner, he pointed Elizabeth out. She sat with her back against the wall, her legs stretched out across the booth. Her blonde hair was pulled back in a ponytail, but a few tendrils curled and framed her narrow face. Her head was down, her attention fully drawn into the book she was reading.

"You forgot beautiful in your description," Evelyn murmured, and Henry grinned.

"She's also an excellent debater. First in Policy Debate, First in Public Forum and Second in Extemporaneous. Her school took first overall."

"She's the one you beat?" Evelyn asked and Henry nodded.

"Only by one point. And if she hadn't been distracted thinking about her parents, she would've beat me. She's better." Henry watched Elizabeth and Evelyn watched Henry.

They got closer and Henry cleared his throat. Elizabeth's head popped up and when she saw Evelyn, she immediately scooted to the edge of the booth and stood. "Hello, Mrs. McCord. It's nice to meet you." She quickly stuck her hand out, but was shocked when Evelyn dodged her hand and wrapped her in a warm embrace.

"I hear congratulations are in order. So, Elizabeth, Henry tells me that you are a debater, and a very good one."

Elizabeth's mouth hung open for a moment. "I'm decent." The look on Elizabeth's face confused Evelyn.

"Is something wrong?" she asked.

"I haven't looked at this baby as anything to be happy about. It's just odd to hear you say that," Elizabeth admitted.

"Babies should always be celebrated. Now, I agree, sometimes the circumstances aren't always expected or ideal, but that doesn't lessen the celebration of a new life created." Evelyn scooted into the booth and motioned the two to join her. Elizabeth gave Henry's mom a small smile, and for the first time she looked at her pregnancy as something other than life destroying.

They were only able to talk for about fifteen minutes before Evelyn had to return to work, but she had already figured out that Elizabeth had no prenatal care up to this point and promised to have her in to see a doctor before the end of the week. Evelyn stood to go back to work and Henry gave her a hug, when she released him, Evelyn popped him on the back of the head. "It'll take a while before it's out of my system." Evelyn said, as Henry rubbed the back of his head. When she hugged Elizabeth, Elizabeth fully expected her own whack to the head and gave her a curious look when she pulled away and Evelyn smiled. "First off, I only thump my own children. Second, you've probably beat yourself up enough about this as is, and I give you permission to stop doing that. Henry, on the other hand, still owes me for not being truthful." Henry opened his mouth to argue, but she held up a finger. "I lie of omission is still a lie and you know it." Henry closed his mouth without saying a word.

Henry pulled up and parked the car in front of the house. "This is where I, well we, live. Remind me to write down the address and phone number for you for when you fill out papers at the doctor's office." Elizabeth nodded. She looked up at the two story Craftsman home with its white picket fence at the edge of the sidewalk and arched trellis that framed the path up to the home. It was quaint and Elizabeth was in love.

Her smiled covered her whole face. "It's beautiful Henry." Henry grabbed her suitcases from the trunk and tossed his own backpack over his shoulder before before leading her up the walk. Once inside, he gave her a quick tour and placed her bags in his room.

Elizabeth gave him a look and he laughed acknowledging that his mother wouldn't allow her to sleep in his room. "Just to get them out of the way. By the time Mom gets home, she'll have it all worked out, I'm sure."

"Henry? You home?" boomed a voice from the floor below them.

"Yeah. I'll be down in a minute Dad." He looked a Elizabeth and most definitely felt ill. "Why don't you come down and let me introduce you? Then if you wouldn't mind picking another spot to hang out in, although there won't be a spot where you'll be out of earshot, I'm sure of it."

Elizabeth chuckled and Henry grimaced. "It won't be pretty. Mom was a cakewalk compared to what this will be." Without thinking, he slipped his hand in hers and pulled her down the steps behind him.

"Dad," Henry started, and his dad turned around. "I'd like you to meet someone. This is Elizabeth Adams. Elizabeth, this is my dad, Patrick McCord."

Patrick held his hand out toward the girl, and was surprised at the firmness of her hand shake. "It's nice to meet you Mr. McCord." Patrick returned the gesture and Elizabeth said, "I'll let you two talk for a bit. I'm going upstairs to freshen up."

As she headed upstairs, Patrick's eyebrows raised. "Freshen up? Is she rich? And I thought you were going to be gone for a couple days?"

"No, just trying to be polite i think. She knows I want to talk to you," Henry's throat was suddenly dry and his voice scratchy. "I was, but something changed. Can we sit down for a minute? I've got something to tell you and you aren't going to be very happy about it."

"What did you do, knock her up?" Henry's mouth fell open.

"Elizabeth is pregnant, yes."

Patrick was now the one with his mouth agape. He'd been joking. As the full weight of what was going on hit him, Patrick started pacing. "Oh my God! You stupid son of a bitch. How could you go and do something so ridiculously irresponsible? Looks like your fancy college is off the table now. You'll soon enough have a wife and a baby to provide for."

"We haven't made plans yet, and I know that this complicates things, but we will work it out. We just need a little time. Mom said she could stay here over the summer." Henry hoped using a calm soft voice would subliminally encourage his father to do the same. No such luck.

"She what?" he boomed. "Did her parents kick her slutty ass out on the curb?"

"That's enough!" Henry screamed, closing the distance and getting in his father's face. "You can say anything you want about me, but don't you dare talk badly about Elizabeth. I deserve it. She doesn't."

"Is it even yours or are you just the stupid sap who fucked her la-?" Patrick's last word was cut off as Henry shoved him hard. Patrick stumbled back about three steps back and before he knew what had happened, Henry had him pinned to the wall. He found the fury in Henry's eyes to be a little unsettling, even though he felt he could still take the kid down if he really needed to.

"Do not say those things about Elizabeth. If I catch even a murmur of those hateful words again, I won't stop." He pushed back off of Patrick's chest. "I can take whatever you have to say about me. I already know you don't think that much of me as is, but don't do that to Elizabeth. If you spent any time with her at all, you would see what a wonderful person she is. It was a mistake, our mistake and we're trying to fix it. Together."

Elizabeth appeared at the bottom of the stairs, with her suitcases in hand, her backpack slung over her shoulder. "Hey Henry. Would you mind taking me to the bus station? I think it's best if I just go ahead with my plan original plan. I'm sorry to have caused problems for you." She trekked through the living room and out the front door.

'Damnit! How could you?" Henry's eyes bored into his father's. "You couldn't be decent? Just once. Now, I'm never going to convince her to stay. She's going to Virginia to do God knows what and ruin the chance she had at a normal life. Why? So you could make yourself feel superior. Great job." Henry pushed past Patrick and headed out the door. Elizabeth was sitting in the car. He got in and turned to face her.

"Please don't go yet. What my dad said has absolutely nothing to do with you. He's mad at me and he thinks that insulting you will punish me. Which it does, and I'm so sorry. I should've told them a long time ago instead of waiting to spring it on them now. That's on me. Please stay, at least the night and if you still want to go in the morning, I'll take you."

"I don't think I can stay Henry. I know that you think it will be okay, but I don't want to be in a place I'm not wanted," Elizabeth began, but the rest of her thoughts were interrupted by a tap on her window. She rolled her window down. Patrick was crouched down by the side of the car.

"Elizabeth, do you think we could talk a minute?" Patrick asked.

"Don't you think you've said enough?" Henry shot angrily. Elizabeth glanced at him.

"He's your dad. Be respectful," she murmured. Henry was going to spout something about him being respectful, but thought better of it. Elizabeth turned back toward Patrick and he opened the door for her.

"Can we take a walk?" Patrick asked and Elizabeth gave him a slight nod. They walked past a couple houses before Patrick spoke. "I want to apologize for what I said. I don't really think that."

"But you do," said Elizabeth. Patrick looked at her. "It's what people think when they see a girl they think is too young with a baby on her hip or a bump with no ring. People who have never even met me will look at me and think all sorts of things and very few of them will be charitable. In a few short weeks this is going to be my reality. Earlier today I told myself that I wasn't going to let fear of what others thought of me dictate my decisions, but I have to be honest. It's easier said than done."

"I shouldn't have said it, and I am sorry. I can't believe Henry. He knows better."

"I know better too, but I guess we just happen to be two people who made a really poor choice at the wrong time. Listen, I get that if I'm here, people will know, and that would reflect badly on your family. I'll just stick with my original plan, and be on my way. No one here will be any the wiser." Elizabeth shoved her hands into the pockets of her shorts and looked at the ground while she walked.

"What's the _original_ plan?" Patrick asked, putting emphasis on original.

"I need to visit my great aunt in Virginia, so I was just going to rent a room and work at a horse stable like I've done the past couple summers until school starts. I'm not sure what to do about college. I have a full scholarship, but I'm pretty sure I can't have a baby at school. Having an abortion is still on the table, but I'm not sure I can do that after this morning. Maybe I will look more closely at adoption. Henry suggested that in the beginning and I blew him off." She shrugged. "But I'll just try to make the best choices with the options I have."

"I don't want you to have an abortion and this baby doesn't go up for adoption," Patrick said with finality. Elizabeth stopped and he turned and looked at her. "If it comes down to you not getting to stay in school and you are forced to think about adoption, Evelyn and I will keep the baby. There is no way Evelyn would let the baby go." He looked Elizabeth in the eye. "Nor would I."

"You don't have to do that," Elizabeth whispered.

"No. We don't have to. That doesn't mean we wouldn't. You aren't the only one that gets thrown curveballs in life. I had a major one thrown at me a just a bit ago and I didn't react very well at first. I usually need a little time and perspective to get it right." They rounded the corner having walked the entire block. "Why don't you get your things out of the car and when Evelyn gets home she'll rearrange things so you have a place to stay?"


	6. Chapter 6

AN: I'm so excited that so many readers are still hanging in on this journey with me. I hope you enjoy this next chapter.

Chapter 6

Elizabeth sat at the dining room table pouring over the classifieds. She had been at the McCord house for five days and still had no job. To say the least, she was frustrated. She'd offered to pay rent and told Patrick what she'd paid last summer in Virginia and he told her not to worry about it, to save the money for more important things.

"Whatcha doin'?" thirteen year old Erin asked, bounding down the stairs.

"Job hunting. I've looked into every waitressing, retail, and grocery clerk job I can find. I even applied at a florist, an ice cream shop and at the theater. Nothing so far."

"Something will turn up." Erin studied the paper over her shoulder. "What about this one?" she asked.

Elizabeth peered at the ad under the topic "child care." "These are all jobs at daycare centers. I don't know the first thing about taking care of children."

Erin grinned, "It might not be a bad idea to learn. Think of those kids as your guinea pigs. I don't want you to screw up my niece or nephew." She playfully pushed Elizabeth in the shoulder. Elizabeth smiled back, but there was just another layer of doubt that blanketed her, threatening to smother her at any time.

As uncomfortable as the thought was, Elizabeth dropped Henry off at work bright and early Monday morning. Armed with a cup of coffee, which Evelyn said she should cut back on, a street map of the city and the page of classifieds, Elizabeth started off on her quest.

Elizabeth was waiting in the passenger seat at 5 o'clock when Henry got out work at the construction site that was serving as his summer job. He came walking off the job site, his lunch box in one hand, his thermos of water in the other. Sometime during the day, Henry had taken his shirt off and his cut off khakis hung low on his hips. He was sweaty and hot, in more ways than one. Elizabeth stared into her lap, not wanting Henry to see how flushed her cheeks were. That was what had got them in the mess they now found themselves in. And she had no idea what she and Henry were even supposed to be.

"How was today?" he asked as he got behind the wheel.

"Pretty productive. You look like you worked hard," she diverted.

"We did. It looks like we'll finish this job mid summer and the foreman already has two more jobs lined up. I'll have work right up until we leave for school."

"I found a job. I start tomorrow," Elizabeth said quietly.

"You don't seem very excited. Is it the checker job at the grocery store you interviewed for?"

"No. I'm the new aide in the infant and toddler room at Learning Connections Child Development Center," Elizabeth said. "The pay isn't all that great, but they feed me lunch and it's seven hours a day which means that I can drop you off, go to work and be back in time to pick you up." She thought about that for a moment. "As long as your other job sites aren't too far out of the way."

"That sounds good. What made you apply there? You didn't really have daycare places on your original list." Henry asked.

Elizabeth smirked at Henry. "Erin suggested it. She said I needed practice so I didn't screw up our baby." Henry looked offended, but Elizabeth brushed it off. "She's not wrong. I know nothing about children. I've just never been around them." Elizabeth shifted her gaze out the window. "But what if I find out that I'm not good with kids. What if?"

"Hey, please don't do that. You'll be fine. I promise. And things that we don't know, we'll figure it out together. We're partners. I've got your back. Do you understand that? You aren't doing this alone." She gave Henry a small smile, but he could see that she didn't believe him.

"We need to sit down and make a plan for how we're going to do this," Henry said as they pulled up in front of the house. "I know I need to apply to UVA. I already called and they are sending me the paperwork. That shouldn't be a big deal though because my grades and test scores are high enough." Henry piled out of the car and pulled his things from the back seat, but Elizabeth hadn't moved at all.

He opened her door. "What's wrong?"

Elizabeth climbed out of the car and brushed past Henry into the house and straight up the stairs to her room. Evelyn gave Henry a look when he came in, and he shrugged. "I'm not sure. I'm going to shower first, give her a bit of time, and then try to talk to her."

Evelyn nodded. "Dinner's in half an hour."

Ten minutes later, Henry stood in front of Elizabeth's room and knocked on the door. "I'm not feeling well," he heard from beyond the closed door.

"Elizabeth, let me in. I want to talk."

"At me or to me?" she spat.

"What's that supposed to mean?" he asked. The door whipped open and she stood in front of him, her eyes puffy and cheeks tear streaked from crying.

"I am just a pawn. Everyone moves me around and tells me what to do and I hate it. I have no control over anything."

Henry tried to placate her. "Okay. why don't you come down and eat and then we can discuss it and try to figure out what would work better?"

"Arrrrgh! See? Right there. How about you don't tell me what to do? I don't want to eat. I don't want to discuss it and things aren't going to work better when you're bossing me around." She slammed the door shut.

Henry wandered down to the table alone and Evelyn looked at him. "Evidently I boss her around." He sighed, "and she's tired of it." Henry took some food and even though he'd been ravenous on the drive home, now he didn't know if he could take more than one bite. "I don't know what I did."

Evelyn thought about it for a while. The family prattled on about their day and Evelyn just listened. When the younger kids finished, Patrick excused them, but Evelyn asked Henry to stay. "How long have Elizabeth's parents been dead?" she asked. Henry told her a little over three years. Evelyn nodded her head thoughtfully. "In that time, who has she had to answer to besides perhaps her teachers or the principal, although I would guess that was just for school stuff?"

"Not much of anyone I guess. I mean she was at the top of her class, so her teachers probably didn't offer much direction. Elizabeth is a self starter. She probably didn't need it." Henry thought about that.

"I think that what we view as suggestions or ideas, Elizabeth reads as directions or commands," Evelyn said. "Because she isn't used to talking things out with anyone else. She thinks about it and she decides. If she wants to do something, she does it and if she doesn't, she doesn't. She feels obligated to follow through on what we say because she's living here." Henry nodded, thinking he had a rudimentary understanding of the situation.

"I'll go talk to her."

"After you and Maureen finish the dishes. And make sure you make her a plate and stick it in the fridge in case she gets hungry later." Henry nodded. He and Maureen made quick work of the dishes and he found himself standing once again in front of Elizabeth's door.

He knocked softly. "Elizabeth, can I talk to you?" A few seconds later the door opened and she waved him in. "I wanted to apologize. I think I was assuming that your lack of pushback on some of the things I was saying meant that you were on board. That's not the case, is it?"

Elizabeth flopped down on the bed. "I don't even know. Sometimes yes and sometimes no. I just feel so out of control. You know. I don't even know what we are. What are we?" Henry gave her a blank stare. "Are we friends? Or boyfriend/girlfriend? Partners? Acquaintances? I'm living in your house, with your family and I'm a stranger. I know they mean well, but I'm just jumping through hoops here. Everything, everyone says feels like something I have to obey. And I like your family. I do, but they are smothering me. You are smothering me."

"I'm sorry. That's not my intention." He sat down next to her. "What can I do to make it better?"

"That's the thing. I really don't know. I just feel like I don't belong and I am trying to do what everyone tells me so I fit in, but I still don't and I'm frustrated. And you. I have some seriously strong reactions to you sometimes, but we barely know each other."

"Seriously strong reactions, huh?" Henry grinned.

"Don't make fun, Henry. I'm being honest here."

"I cover up my feelings by brushing them off and trying to be funny about it, but it's much more about my fear of getting shot down." Elizabeth looked up at him and their eyes met. "Like right now, I want to kiss you, but I know we shouldn't. There's so much about each other that we don't know. What's your favorite color, have you had broken bones, did you ever have a dog growing up? I don't want to complicate things more than they already are."

"Blue, my left wrist when I was in third grade, and my mom was allergic to dogs, but we had a cat named Izzy and I had a hamster named Fred. What about you?"

"Green, no broken bones but stitches in my foot when I stepped on a piece of metal running barefoot and also here, along my hairline when I ran into a the side mirror on a truck while playing hide and seek, a dog named Sparky that died when I was 12. Now what?" Henry asked.

"Now you kiss me." Elizabeth scooted to close the gap between them. She tilted her head back just in time for his lips to brush against hers. He pulled her bottom lip into his mouth and sucked it gently before dragging his tongue across it. She opened her mouth and he pulled away. Elizabeth's face was flush and her lips were full. God, she was beautiful.

"Your turn. Three things you want to know about me." Henry said, looking at her intently. "That is if you want to continue to play this 'get to know you game.'"

She giggled. "I'm hungry. But I'll ask questions while we eat and collect my prize later." She hopped up off the bed and tugged him along after her.

Over the next few weeks, Elizabeth grew comfortable in the McCord house. She and Maureen hung out and listened to music, she watched TV with Erin and went running every evening with Shane. That worried Henry to no end, but Evelyn assured him that it was fine as long as Elizabeth felt fine. It was awkward around Patrick. He just didn't talk much to her and was still very angry with Henry. Henry tried to explain that it really didn't have anything to do with her personally. He and his dad never really got along and this was just his latest disappointment in a long string of them, as far as Patrick was concerned.

Elizabeth liked her job most of the time. It was kind of chaotic. She was in a room with 8 one and two year olds. They spent a lot of their time singing and dancing and making block towers to knock down. Elizabeth also got very good at changing diapers. When her kids all took a

nap in the afternoon, she sat in the doorway and helped rock the infants to sleep from the next room. She definitely felt more confident and was thankful to Erin for the suggestion.

Elizabeth and Henry grew very close. They spent several nights a week talking into the wee hours of the next morning, and finally worked out a plan that was agreeable to both of them. Elizabeth would request family housing and Henry would live in the freshman dorms. They registered for classes and choose classes with opposite schedules so one of them was always available. It seemed like things were going to be doable, but then Evelyn walked in the living room a few weeks later to find Elizabeth curled into a ball, sobbing on the couch. The telephone receiver dangling on the floor beeping incessantly.

Evelyn sat on the floor next to the couch and stroked Elizabeth's hair. "What's going on?" Not even an hour before they returned from Elizabeth's five month appointment and everything checked out. The doctor encouraged her to eat healthy foods because he thought she was measuring on the small side, but given that she had been under such stress, he thought she'd catch up over the next couple months. Evelyn had hinted at letting Henry come to her appointments, but was met with avoidance. Otherwise, Evelyn thought she'd been happy, and figured it had to do with the phone still curled against her.

"I-I-I'm s-s-sorry," she sputtered, still heaving in shuddering breaths. "I-I-I thought it would o-k-k-kay, but it's not." Evelyn shifted to the couch and gathered the sobbing girl into her arms, rubbing her back and humming softly. When Elizabeth had calmed down to the point that she could speak, she whispered, "My aunt cut off my allowance because I'm pregnant, so I can't pay for the doctor. My paycheck isn't enough." Evelyn started to tell her that they would work it out, but Elizabeth continued, "And then I called UVA to sign up for family housing and they don't allow single mothers in. It's for married couples only." She looked up at Evelyn with a sadness in her eyes that broke the older woman's heart. "I'm not going to get to go to UVA. Things have gone so wrong and I this was the one thing I thought I could still give my parents. I still had this one chance to make them proud, and now-" Elizabeth dissolved into tears again.

Evelyn waited until Elizabeth quieted before she spoke. "I didn't know your parents, but I do know you. You, Elizabeth, are the bravest, most resourceful, intelligent woman I've ever met. If your parents were alive, they may not agree with all of the choices you've made, but I guarantee they would be proud of how you've conducted yourself. This is an unexpected bump in the road, but we'll work together to figure it out. If there is any possible way to get you to UVA and keep you there, we will find it and make it happen. I promise."

"I want to believe that. I really do." Elizabeth huddled against Evelyn and tried to believe that her dreams could somehow still come true.


	7. Chapter 7

AN: There have been some references to Maureen and how she views Elizabeth. I purposely chose not to tackle Maureen for a couple of reasons. One, Elizabeth is introduced in a much more vulnerable situation. She's young, pregnant, poor, she may not get to go to college. It seems to be a very different situation than what is portrayed in the show. Two, Maureen just appears very little in this fic, and there's plenty of drama other places, I didn't need to add it with her too. So, for all intents and purposes, in this fic, the coexist, neither being friends or enemies.

I hope you are still enjoying this story and I would love to know what you think.

Chapter 7

Henry held Elizabeth's hand as they walked along the waterfront. The grassy areas were covered with picnic topped blankets as families waited for dark and the city fireworks display. He had been working up the courage to ask Elizabeth something for several days now and each time he went to vocalize it, the timing seemed wrong so he let it go. But, time was getting away and he needed to make a move, so before the night was over, he promised himself that he was going to do it.

He wiped the sweat from his brow with his hand, rubbing the moisture on his shorts. He looked over at Elizabeth and she was glowing. Her blue eyes sparkled, and her hair was pulled into a bun high on her head exposing her neck. He eyed the patch of skin behind her ear, next to her hairline that was sensitive. He wanted to lean over and place his lips there, causing her to make the sound that lit his senses on fire. She'd made it twice the first night they were together and again, just a couple weeks ago, when his lips moved instinctively from her jawline to that spot. She'd backed away, saying it wasn't the right time. Henry had nodded and instead tucked her against his chest and silently prayed for them and their baby.

He let his eyes fall down the rest of her body. She wore a free flowing white floral sundress, with an empire waist and brown leather sandals. Even at almost six months pregnant, most people had no idea. A few weeks ago, she raided his dresser and snagged several t-shirts that were a couple sizes bigger than what she actually wore. Those, coupled with sweatpants or her denim shorts, which she now rolled down under her baby bump and secured with a rubber band, hid their growing baby quite nicely. He wouldn't have minded letting people know, but he understood her reasons and never brought attention to it, even though he'd really like to rest his hand there to see if he could feel the baby move, which she said happened frequently now.

"You're my best friend," he said suddenly. Elizabeth looked over at him and smiled.

"Mine too," she murmured and placed her head on his shoulder.

"I never plan to leave you," he said, and he watched as she tilted her head back to look at him, her brows pulling together as the lines grew deep in her forehead. "I mean because of the baby, but also because I cherish our friendship. I want to stay close to you."

She nodded, wondering where Henry's line of thought was going. "What are you trying to say Henry?"

He took a deep breath. "I've been thinking about something and it's a little unorthodox, but we still haven't solved the living arrangements at school yet and I want to know well-would consider marrying me?"

She stopped dead in her tracks, pulling him back when he took two more steps without her. "Henry, we can't do that."

Henry walked her to the nearest park bench and they sat down. She immediately put some distance between them. "Why not?" he asked.

"Because we aren't in love. We'd be marrying for convenience." She looked away, out over the water.

"Historically, many marriages were out of convenience," Henry pointed out. "And it's not like an arranged marriage. I'm not marrying you for two goats and next year's hay crop." She smirked but still wouldn't make eye contact. "Elizabeth, look at me. I care deeply about you. I want you to have the opportunities that were available before this baby. I care about our baby, and I want our baby to have both parents around and not just you being totally overwhelmed with responsibility and me swooping in occasionally. I want us to raise our baby together. It will still be overwhelming I'm sure, but you can count on me. I don't want you to be in this alone." Henry took her hands in his. "Do you get that? You don't have to be alone."

Tears streamed down her face. "Henry, I don't want you to give up your chance of finding love to make my life easier."

He let his head rest against hers. "I'm not worried about that. At all."

"Honey. I been married ten years to a man that don't love me half as much as this man loves you. You better jump on that train and ride it as far as it will take you." Elizabeth turned to see a woman sitting on a blanket behind them with her two young children and a bag of Cheetos. She sipped her ice water. "Uh huh. I ain't lyin'."

Elizabeth nodded and wiped her tears away. "Uh, thank you," is what she said. "_What the hell was that?"_ is what she thought.

Henry stood, pulled Elizabeth to her feet and grinned at the lady. "I appreciate the vote of confidence. Hopefully I've convinced her."

Once safely out of earshot of the woman, Elizabeth giggled into his shoulder. "Should I take the advice of a random, eavesdropping stranger?"

"She totally seemed on the up and up to me," Henry shrugged and gave her a small smile. She pushed him playfully.

"I'll think about it," she said.

Three days later, she was still thinking about it. In fact, she could think of nothing else. Outside, the heat was oppressive. It was muggy, even more so than the average Pennsylvania summer evening. Elizabeth sat on the front porch step, swatting mosquitoes and wishing she'd had the forethought to put some bug spray on. Being well after midnight, everyone else was in bed, but Elizabeth couldn't sleep. She heard the creek of the screen door behind her and thought that it was Henry. She didn't bother to turn around, but jumped when Patrick sat down next to her. "Sorry, I thought you heard me," he said.

"I just assumed it was Henry. You surprised me is all. Don't you have to work tomorrow?" she asked, knowing that he was often up and off to work before she ever made it out of bed.

"I could say the same for you. I woke up and couldn't go back to sleep." She nodded her understanding.

"What's keeping you up?" Patrick asked offhandedly, but he rarely spoke to her, so Elizabeth was a taken aback.

"Henry asked me to marry him."

"And?"

She paused. "_What was that supposed to mean?" _Then she sighed. "I haven't said yes."

"Because you don't love him?" Patrick offered.

"That's a hard question to answer," she mumbled. Patrick turned to look at her, obviously surprised by her response. "Henry is the friend I've longed for. We are close. I know him. I feel connected to him and I think he feels the same way. I love our friendship. I love him in that way, but I don't think that's how you are supposed to love the person you marry."

"I've been married almost 25 years, and I can tell you that's exactly how you need to love the person you marry." Elizabeth's head snapped around to stare at him, eyes wide. "When you're young and hung up on the romance, it seems like that is what you are supposed to be in it for. But at some point that lessens. You don't get the butterflies in your stomach when she leaves all of the kitchen cabinet doors open, again, or when he uses the last of the toilet paper and you're stuck waiting for someone to rescue you. The infatuation fades. It doesn't necessarily go away, but when you're young and in love, that's what you focus on. That's the thing you want. But that's not what makes a marriage strong or meaningful. The marriages that last are the ones based on respect and generally liking the other person, not wanting to do life without that person and working through the hard times because you know there will be better times ahead."

Elizabeth sat quietly thinking about Patrick's words. She'd really never considered that point of view before. "He's in love with you, you know." Patrick stated after sitting in silence for a few minutes. "I'm not sure he realizes it, but he is. And so are you, but you're too scared to admit it."

Elizabeth opened her mouth to protest and Patrick held up his hand to silence her. "Think what you want, but I've watched you, and you do. Don't give up on the chance to have the things you want because you're scared to take the leap. Just think about it." Patrick rose from his spot and went to the door. "You have work tomorrow too. You should try to get some sleep."

Elizabeth thought about Patrick's words and the more she thought, the more confused she got. Finally rising, she went back into the house and hoped she could at least get a few hours sleep before her alarm went off.

Sleep came in short spurts and she slept through her alarm the next morning. Henry woke her up and she threw on some clothes, brushed her teeth and pulled her hair up into a ponytail as she walked to the car. "Are you feeling okay?" Henry asked when she pulled into the lot outside the construction site.

Looking at him, she could see the concern that engulfed him, and it was a confusing feeling to be cared about that way. It seemed like an eternity since someone truly cared about what she was doing or how she was feeling. She forced a small smile. "I'm fine, just a little tired."

Henry reached over and squeezed her hand. "Take it easy today." He rubbed his thumb over the back of her hand. "Please." There was a pleading in his expression that caused a pressure in her chest and she had to will tears not to spill down her face.

He pulled his hand away and gathered his things. Henry started to get out of the car and she grabbed his arm. "Do you love me?" she asked.

Henry studied her for the briefest of moments. "Yes," he said simply and leaned over to kiss her cheek before getting out. "_Take the leap,"_ She heard Patrick's words echo in her head. Elizabeth stepped out of the car.

"Henry," she called. He was halfway to the site, but turned when he heard her. "Yes," she said. Henry looked confused. "If the offer still stands, I'd like to be your wife." He broke out into a wide smile.

"Pick me up at 3. We need to go by the courthouse this afternoon." She nodded and climbed back into the car. She let out the breath that she'd been holding for days. Elizabeth was getting married.


	8. Chapter 8

AN: The big day has finally arrived! I hope you enjoy this latest chapter. Please let me know what you think! I love to read reviews. 3

Chapter 8

After a mandatory three day waiting period, Elizabeth and Henry stood hand in hand in front of the Allegheny County Courthouse on Friday afternoon. "You look beautiful," he said.

"You can tell." She sounded disappointed, looking down at her abdomen which now pushed against the flowy material of the dress she wore. He turned to face her. His hand rested against her neck and his thumb ran along her jaw.

"It doesn't make you less beautiful." She had the same dress on as a week ago. Her hair was down this time. It fell in loose waves to her shoulder blades, and she had the sides pinned back, which highlighted her high cheekbones. Her eyes were a darker blue than usual, and lacked the sparkle they sometimes possessed. "Are you sure you want to do this?" Henry asked, acutely aware of her less than enthusiastic demeanor.

She squeezed his hand. "I do. Please don't think that I don't. As a little girl, I had this glorified fairy tale fantasy of how it will be when they get married, and I've missed the mark on almost all counts."

"Almost all? What did you do right?"

"I've got the most amazing guy on my arm who would go to the ends of the Earth for me. This isn't the day I pictured, but I'm definitely marrying my best friend, and for that, I am eternally grateful." Henry was going to kiss her, but she stepped away. "Patience, McCord," she said playfully.

"Henry," Erin shouted. They both turned to see the McCord clan walking across the street. Erin was beyond excited. "I'm the official photographer of the day."

Henry watched as Elizabeth's face fell. It was only for a second, and she quickly covered it with a painted on smile. He knew what the problem was. He waited until Elizabeth was talking to Maureen, who handed Elizabeth a bouquet of fresh flowers. "Hey E, come here," Henry motioned his sister to the side. "Take all the pictures you want, but if you can, try to make the shots not focus on the baby. Elizabeth is self conscious about the baby showing in the wedding pictures." Erin looked at him skeptically.

"Are you sure?" Erin asked. Henry gave her the eye. "Okay, okay. Got it."

Henry approached Elizabeth and took her by the elbow. "Are you ready to do this?" he asked. She smiled and fell in step with him as they walked up the steps of the courthouse. They met with the judge who was performing the ceremony. It was simple. Nothing that made it stand out. Elizabeth felt the same coming out as she did going in. She was the same except now she wore a thin gold band on her left index finger. She rubbed the underneath side of the ring with her thumb.

"Mom and Dad want to take us out to eat to celebrate. Is that okay?"

"Yeah, that's fine," she murmured. Henry circled his arms around Elizabeth and ushered her around the corner of the building into a small garden.

"You seem, I don't know, distant." Henry pulled her in close. "What can I do?"

"You already did it." She pushed up on her toes to kiss him chastely. "I was just thinking that I'm no longer an unwed mother. I mean we had just sort of talked about it as being able to live on campus, but this changes how people will see me. I'm going to be free of those hateful looks and gaping stares and judgments. Thank you for that."

Henry hugged her tight, her belly pressing into him. She laughed, "You're smooshing the kid."

"Do you think I could maybe feel our baby?" he asked, almost shyly.

Elizabeth was shocked. "How come you've never asked before? I thought you didn't want to."

"You just wanted so much to not acknowledge it that I just didn't want to ask for something that would make you uncomfortable."

Elizabeth slid her hands down the length of his arms to his hands, which were at her sides, and she moved them to her bump. "Baby's head is right here," she said, placing his right hand low on her abdomen. "And the feet are up here." She moved his left hand up high.

Evelyn came around the corner looking for them and when she saw what was happening, she grabbed Erin and her camera. "Take that picture," she told her daughter.

"But Henry said no baby bump shots," Erin protested in a whispered voice.

"Elizabeth will want this one. Trust me." By the time that Erin snapped the picture, Henry was on one knee, kissing her belly. Elizabeth was looking down on him, her hands pressing his to her side. Evelyn wiped a tear away before she called out, "Come on McCords. We're waiting."

Henry jumped up and kissed Elizabeth on the lips. "Let's go Mrs. McCord. Pasta awaits us!"

Later that night, there was a knock at Elizabeth's door. When she opened it, she found Henry standing there in his boxers and a t-shirt. "Shane threw me out," he explained. "He said now that we were married, he wanted his room back." Elizabeth laughed.

"He's twelve," she said. "How did he throw you out?"

Henry gave her a one shoulder shrug. "I went to brush my teeth and when I came back, he'd locked the door and told me to go sleep with my wife. Then he said he'd let me get my stuff tomorrow."

She giggled, "In that case, you can't hang out in the hallway in your underwear." She stepped out of the doorway to allow him in.

"Thanks," he muttered, moving toward the bed to sit down. "We never really talked about this part of it. I wasn't sure what you would think."

"I don't know exactly what I think. I just thought we'd go on doing what we'd been doing. I don't know that I'm ready to sleep with you."

Henry moved from the bed and took a quilt from the back of the chair in the corner of the room. "I'll go sleep on the couch tonight and fight Shane in the morning."

Elizabeth gave him a funny look, then it dawned on her. "No Henry. I didn't mean sleep. I meant _sleep_." She raised her eyebrows and shifted her eyes to the bed.

"Oh," he let out a nervous laugh. "Maybe someday."

"I'm sorry," she mumbled. Henry shook his head and he moved to her, pulling her close. "It seems like we did things backwards, and it makes me feel really dumb to know that we've already been together, but now feel like I'm not ready to go all the way."

Henry took her by the shoulders and separated them so he could look at her. "Did you not want to when we-?" He wasn't able to finished the question.

"Oh, no. That's not what I meant. Shit! We're married for less than eight hours and all of a sudden we can't communicate. This isn't comforting at all. I wanted to. I initiated it, remember? What I meant was that I'm in a different place emotionally. That, and there wasn't anything on the line with you before. If we screw it up now, I'd lose so much. I don't want to do that. Does that make sense?"

"It does. And the good news is that I'm not going anywhere. You'll have me forever." Her lips turned up into a slight smile.

"Let me get ready for bed. I'll be just a minute." Elizabeth disappeared into the bathroom and Henry climbed into bed. He took the moment of quiet to give thanks for Elizabeth, a healthy baby and the fact that their future looked brighter in this moment than it had looked since he got the call in March. "_Help us make this work,"_ he prayed.

Elizabeth returned and slipped between the covers and they lay side by side. She spoke into the darkness. "I just want you to know I'm sorry."

Henry turned in her direction, propping himself on his elbow. "Sorry for what?" he asked.

"Our lives would just look very different if we'd stopped that night. I told you that it would be fine and I was wrong. This is my fault, and it's changed the entire course of our lives."

"Please let that guilt go. It's just as much on me as you. I could've stopped. It was just as much my decision as yours. But you need to know that I don't regret it. My life looks different than I thought it would, but this path has brought me joy I didn't know I could have." She turned to face him and Henry looked into her eyes, now glistening with tears. "Do you remember that night how I talked about how upset I was about Olivia and loving her?" Elizabeth murmured her recollection. "I thought I did, but I dated her for two years and I didn't care for her the way I do for you. Even before I knew you were pregnant, you occupied all of my thoughts. I wondered where you were and what you were doing. I imagined what seeing you again would look like. I dreamt of you in my arms. This baby brought us together. I would never wish that away. If I did, that would mean I would go back to a life without you, and I don't know that I can do that."

"When I got back to school, I felt so much lighter than I had since my parents died. Even though I thought I would never see you again, you gave me so much peace because you showed me that I had something to offer. I felt such a deep connection with you. I hadn't felt that since my parents' died, and I truly thought it wasn't possible for me to ever have it again. If this had been anyone else's baby, I probably would've had the abortion and never even contacted them, but there was never a question with you. I knew I had to tell you. I'm so glad you called me. I was so scared you wouldn't and that it would mean you didn't want anything to do with me." She might have had more to say, but Henry leaned in and captured her lips with his and by the time he pulled away from his wife, she had no coherent thoughts left.

It was the first Saturday in August when Henry and Elizabeth pulled away from the McCord home in Pittsburgh bound for Charlottesville, Virginia and the University of Virginia. They had a pitstop to make before going to campus and Elizabeth was dreading it. Other than the beginning morning sickness and now suffering from occasional heartburn, Elizabeth had felt good for most of her pregnancy. However in less than an hour, she would be seeing both her great aunt and her brother and that made her violently nauseous.

Elizabeth hadn't spoken to Joan since the day Joan found out she was pregnant. Her aunt had not held back when she told Elizabeth exactly what she thought of the situation, leaving Elizabeth sullen and withdrawn for most of the following week. Because of that, she never told Will. They had only talked three times over the whole summer and she just didn't want their limited time talking to be taken up with him yelling at her for being so stupid.

Of course, there was no denying it and she had her husband in tow, which would be a shock. She swallowed hard, pushing the vomit back down into her stomach. The fact was that as much as she might want a relationship with her brother and her aunt, they were not the ones she was living for now. She had Henry and the baby to worry about and while she desperately wanted their approval, if she didn't have it, she would need to move on.

Henry exited at Middletown, roughly two hours from Charlottesville and they drove through town and pulled into a well maintained retirement community. Elizabeth directed Henry to the far side of the complex to the skilled nursing unit. Once parked, Henry slipped his hand under Elizabeth's. "Whatever happens, I'm still here and we're doing what we need to be doing, It's been a long road, but you're on your way to UVA. It looks different than you thought it would, but you're still doing it."

Elizabeth sighed. "I just wish my self esteem wasn't going to get stomped before getting there." She took a deep breath. "You don't have to go in. It's going to be bad, and they aren't even your family. You shouldn't have to deal with them."

"You just spent an entire summer with my family, which wasn't always rosy," Henry reminded her. "But more importantly. You don't do things alone anymore. Let's go babe."

By the time Henry opened her door, she was grinning at him. "What?" he asked.

"Babe? What's that?"

Henry suddenly looked embarrassed. "I said that?"

"Keep it. I like it," she winked at him and he remembered the day of the tournament when she winked at him and felt himself blush the same way.

They walked with their fingers laced together down the wide corridor and she paused just before a door on the right hand side. "Remind me later that I thought I needed to do this." Henry squeezed her hand and Elizabeth pushed the door open, poking her head in. As she walked through the doorway, Henry saw a feeble old woman sitting in a recliner so large it looked as though it was ready to swallow her. Beside her was a boy, decidedly younger than himself, but could be mistaken for no one than Will Adams. He looked too much like his sister for it not to be him.

"Lizzie," he said, popping up from his chair. "What the-" Will didn't finish the sentence, his words lost as his eyes fell on his sister. Henry watched him swallow, his Adam's apple bobbing in his throat. "It seems that you've left out some of your activities this summer."

Elizabeth was trying to decide how to answer Will when, Aunt Joan spoke. "I see you didn't take my advice."

"Hello Joan. No. I didn't." Henry wrinkled his forehead in confusion, but said nothing, not wanting to interrupt. "Will, Joan, I want you to meet Henry McCord. Henry, this is my brother, Will and my Great-Aunt Joan Adams." Will reached out and shook Henry's hand and when Henry stepped toward Joan. She dismissed him.

"I have no desire to spend time with either of you," she said callously.

Elizabeth sat down on a folding chair and Henry retreated across the room to get a second folding chair from the other side of the vacant bed. He sat near Elizabeth.

"Did you ride back with Mike?" Elizabeth asked Will, ignoring the slight from her aunt.

"Why didn't you tell me?" he asked.

Elizabeth sighed. "Will we hardly ever talk as it is and I didn't really have a great experience telling the other member of my family, so I just didn't want to have that conversation and rehash everything with you. I just wanted us to have friendly "how are things going" chats instead of "what the hell are you thinking" chats. It is what it is and no amount of hatefulness toward me is going to change that." She looked at her aunt, who pursed her lips.

"You hold me in such high regard," he muttered.

"Don't do that Will. It wasn't about you. This has been hard, and I just really didn't want my crap strung out anymore than it had to be."

He threw his hands up, conceding the point. "You're still going to UVA?" he asked.

"Yes."

"How are you managing that?" Joan piped up. "I didn't figure they let whores in."

"Hey!" both Henry and Will said, and then they looked at each other.

"Aunt Joan. You can have your opinion, but name calling isn't necessary." Will said. "And you know full well that would never be Lizzie, so stop it."

"So Henry, are you going to UVA too?" Will asked.

"Yes. We got it worked out. It was a little nerve wracking for a while, but we're all set now." Will cocked his head to the side like he was going to ask a question, but then he moved his eyes to her hand.

"You got married and you didn't bother to tell me? Damn. I'm really feeling loved now."

"I haven't talked to you since it happened," she said.

"And I'm sure that wasn't important enough to warrant a phone call. You chewed my ass when I dismounted a horse and stepped in a hole twisting my ankle and didn't let you know-an injury that required an Ace Wrap. But you, you're having a baby and got married and failed to mention it. Communication is a two way street you know."

"I'll cop to that. I should've told you, but for the most part, I didn't tell anyone outside of Henry's family, and I was living there. They kind of had to know."

"So what's the plan then, Lizzie?' Will asked.

"Same as it was. Only Henry and I are married and we're living in family housing. I'm due in October and we plan to just keep going. Henry is ROTC, so that might present some problems later down the road, once he goes active duty, but we'll work it out. One day at a time. Can we please talk about something else now?" She eyed Will, who asked Joan how the food was and got an earful about slimy peas and overcooked chicken.

The three left Joan at the same time and as they walked down the hall, Will caught Elizabeth by the elbow. "That's why you were so messed up at school, wasn't it?"

She nodded. "I couldn't take a chance on anyone knowing. I would've been expelled. Not graduating would've destroyed any plans I might have been able to salvage." They stepped out of the building. Elizabeth turned to Will. "I should've told you and I'm sorry. I just couldn't handle anyone else being disappointed in me."

Will shot her a wide smile. "It's honestly refreshing to know that Elizabeth "never makes a mistake" Adams, fucks up sometimes too. And in true Lizzie Adams fashion, you go all out." He pulled her into a side hug. "Well done sis!"

"It's McCord now. And you can shut up!" She threw her hip into him and laughed. Henry followed behind smiling. It wasn't perfect, but they had survived.


	9. Chapter 9

AN: I'm going to post two chapters today. I'm on a timeline to get this entire story published and I've fallen behind, LOL! I hope you enjoy these next couple chapters.

Chapter 9

Henry sat at the small table in their drab two bedroom apartment. His books were spread across the table and to say he was overwhelmed didn't begin to cover it. He buried his head in his hands and tried to figure out just what the hell he'd been thinking.

He was only taking twelve hours this semester. Four classes. It was supposed to be an easier load since the baby would be coming just after midterms (ideally). Yet, he was stretched thin. He had been terribly naive about the amount of time it would take to excel in college the same way he had excelled in high school. Then add to that, the demands of ROTC, his work study job and pulling his share of the household chores and even as he laundry listed those things in his head, he knew those things weren't really the problem. The problem was that he missed Elizabeth.

They had planned their schedules so that they had no overlapping classes. He had morning classes on Monday, Wednesday and Friday. Then afternoon classes on Tuesday and Thursday. Hers were the exact opposite. It was so that they wouldn't have to figure out child care for the baby, but they failed to take into account the fact that they would never see each other. Their apartment was far enough away from the academic buildings that it wasn't feasible to walk home between classes, so once they left, they were out for half of the day. They spent their time between classes at the library. By the time Elizabeth was coming back from her classes, he was on the way out the door.

He'd just read the same page three times and had no idea what it said. Frustrated, he packed up his things for his afternoon classes and checked the clock before leaving. Elizabeth should be at the library. Maybe they could spend some time together before his class.

He searched around the various seating areas and was just about to give up when he heard her laugh. Henry made his way to an out of the way pair of chairs in the stacks and stopped short when he saw Elizabeth sitting and laughing with some guy.

Anger and jealousy surged through his veins. The rational part of him said it was nothing but a conversation between two people. She had told him about a few people she'd met. A couple were guys. It probably no big deal.

The exhausted, mentally strained and terribly lonely part of Henry fed his insecurity. He knew that they didn't love each other, at least not like that, but they were still married. Didn't that mean something? It did to him. He wanted to go up and yell and scream, fight the guy, or something. He also wanted to crawl into a corner and cry. Seeing her be so friendly with someone else hurt him in a way that he couldn't explain.

He backed away and left the library. He guessed he didn't really need to see her after all. Classes moved at a snail's pace and Henry wasn't focused at all on the lectures. His mind just kept playing back to the guy in the chair sitting next to his wife, making her laugh.

Usually he stayed and studied a couple hours after his last class of the day so he could get a head start on whatever needed to be done. Today, though he walked straight home. When he opened the door, Elizabeth was sitting at the table where he had been sitting only a few hours ago.

"Henry, you're home early." Elizabeth scooted back from the table. "I thought you'd be later. I haven't started dinner yet, but I can now."

"Don't bother," he muttered, causing Elizabeth to make a worried face.

"Is something wrong? Are you feeling okay?" she asked.

Henry wanted to lash out, to accuse her of being "unfaithful" with that other guy, to ask what she thought she was doing. He wanted to, but he couldn't, or wouldn't. "I'm not sick. Are you interested in someone else?" He was a little annoyed that his voice betrayed him. He sounded upset and scared rather than pissed off.

Elizabeth's face filled with confusion. "No, why? What an odd question to ask."

"I just missed you today and I went to find you in the library so we could spend some time together, and you were sitting with some guy and you looked-" Henry realized that he may sound foolish at this point, but he couldn't help what he saw. "You looked happy, like you were enjoying the guy's company. You don't look that way with me any more."

Elizabeth stood quietly for a moment before she moved across the room to Henry. "That guy is just some guy in one of my classes. We sat together so we could talk through this one thing he didn't understand and then he was telling me about another class he had with the same professor. It was nothing. Really, like a five minute conversation and I spent the rest of the afternoon studying. Actually, I wish you had come up and I would've introduced you. Then we could've spent time together."

"This is a lot harder than I thought it would be," Henry said, collapsing on the couch.

Elizabeth sat down beside him. "Yeah," she sighed. "How sorry are you that you did this?" She looked at Henry and when he looked back at her, he saw the fear he felt reflected back at him. "Was it selfish of me to tell you? Do you wish that you'd never known?"

"Sorry? I'm not sorry. I just didn't realize how hard it would be. It sounded workable when we planned it this summer. And now…" he trailed off, lost in thought.

Henry was pulled back to the present when Elizabeth squeezed his hand, "Look," she whispered. He looked over to see Elizabeth's belly shift from one side to the other. He grinned and placed his hand on a spot that was raised. It immediately dropped and he felt a kick.

"How often does that happen?" he asked, his eyes wide with wonder.

"Oh, it's pretty active now and then a few other times during the day, like 3am and just when I'm about to fall asleep again at 5am." Elizabeth rested her hand on top of his, and held it there as their baby squirmed beneath them. "Are you ever scared?" She looked up at him, her eyes filled with tears. "What if we can't do it?"

"I don't know. Would you consider adoption now?" Henry felt the bottom drop out of his stomach even as he said it. He didn't think he could.

"Your dad said no. He said that he and your mom would take the baby before allowing us to give it up."

Henry couldn't hide his shock. "What? When did he say that?"

"The first night when you told him."

"Really?" Henry was speechless.

"I know you don't get along with your dad, but he's not a bad guy. The two of you are just very different in how you process things. And honestly, you don't want to try and see his point of view anymore than he wants to see yours. If either of you actually did that, you might find that you are much more alike than you thought." Henry looked at her and rolled his eyes, causing her to laugh. He rarely did things like that.

Their eyes met and her laugh trailed off, she swallowed hard and her stomach fluttered. She felt the warmth spread up her face and she knew she was flushed. Struggling, she pushed herself off the couch. "I'm going to make dinner now."

She spent the next half hour making up things to do in their tiny kitchen, adjacent to the living room She knew he was watching her, although he had several books stacked up on the coffee table and flipped through them. Elizabeth finally turned her back to him. _What the hell am I doing? You absolutely are not falling in love. I will not allow you to do it._ The inner battle waged on and Elizabeth closed her eyes and tried to steady her breaths. She was about to cry and desperately didn't want to. Not about this and not in front of him. She drained the pasta and let him know it was finished. "I'm not feeling so hot. I'm going to go lay down." She saw his concerned expression, but didn't acknowledge it, instead slipping into the bedroom. She changed into sweats and a t-shirt and climbed into the middle of the bed, covering her head with a pillows, finally letting her tears fall.

Henry sat alone at the table, pushing his pasta around. He didn't know what was going on. He had been off and then something was definitely going on with Elizabeth. It was unusually quiet and he had just thought that when he heard the muffled sob come from the bedroom. Immediately, he jumped from the chair and rushed in. Elizabeth was curled up on her side, with a pillow over her head, silently shaking. He went and sat down next to her, pulling the pillow away from her face. "Go a-a-away," she stuttered between sobs.

"Babe, talk to me. What's wrong?" Henry attempted to pull her into his arms, but she pulled back away.

"Look. We are never going to be anything but friends."

"Wait. Is that what this is about? You're afraid of us becoming more?"

"I thought we could just stay friends. I don't want more. It can't be more." Henry had never seen her so upset, even in the early days, when they had no idea what they were going to do.

"Why? We're married. It doesn't have to be more, but why would it be bad if it was?"

"It just would be." Elizabeth could see how her words hurt Henry, and she wanted to make it better, but couldn't. "Love and I just don't go together." She rolled herself to the edge of the bed away from Henry. "Please. Leave me alone." Henry waited for a few more minutes and when she said no more, he left her alone.

Over the next few weeks, things were strained. Elizabeth still refused to allow Henry to attend any of her doctor appointments, which upset him, but he didn't know how to address things with her. In the past, it seemed to him that she came around in her own time. But when she was keeping her distance from him, Henry didn't know what to do. They moved in the same space like strangers and Henry was at a loss, but he knew something needed to be done.

It was the Monday evening after midterms and Elizabeth was due in four days. She left the library as late as possible to avoid Henry. She walked slowly, both because she was exhausted and she wanted to delay arriving at home. Elizabeth had no idea what she was doing at this point. She was miserable, both physically and emotionally. By the time she got to the building, her side was aching and she was in tears. She sat down on the front step, unable to make it any further. The cold October evening air, nipped at her exposed skin, but she just couldn't make herself care.

Inside the apartment, Henry tried to keep calm. He forced himself not to worry until the library closed at ten. By 10:15, he was pacing. _Where is she?_ At 10:30, he couldn't take it anymore and headed out to find Elizabeth. Flying out the door, Henry nearly tripped on her, still sitting at the bottom of the steps. "My God, Babe. Are you okay? What's going on? Are you hurt? Is it the baby?" Henry rattled out questions far too fast for Elizabeth to even process them, much less form answers. She just looked at him and he could see the wet trails the tears had made running down her cheeks. "Come on," he said, scooping her up in his arms. She wanted to argue that she was fine and she didn't need him, but that would have been a lie and they both knew it.

Within a few moments, he placed her carefully on the couch and went back outside to retrieve her things. She had barely closed her eyes when he was back, kneeling in front of her. "Elizabeth, you have to talk to me. We cannot keep doing this. Let me in."

"I can't. Don't you see? I can't love you." She turned her head away from him, ashamed, because she knew that he loved her and it was so upsetting that she couldn't return his love. Henry gave her a hurt and confused look, and it broke her heart. "You don't understand. It's me. Everyone I've loved, I've lost. My grandparents, my parents, even Will and Aunt Joan. I don't want to lose you, so if I don't love you, then you can stay. You can love our baby and I can just-be."

"But it's too late Elizabeth. We already love each other. I'm not going anywhere. I swear to God I won't leave you. Let me love our baby." Henry placed his hands on either side of her head, tilting it up so she had to look at him. He spoke with deep conviction. "Let me take care of you. Let me love you."

"But, the loss. It hurts so much. I can't do it again. I couldn't go on if you-"

"It hurts more than pretending you don't love someone? Because I know that can't make you feel good." She shook her head. She didn't know what to think. "It's time we're honest. I love you Elizabeth McCord, and not just like a friend. You are my best friend and I love you for that, but these past few weeks, with you not being present with me have been some of the worst weeks of my life. I need you. I can't imagine my life without you. I want nothing more than to build my entire life with you at the center. Let me give that to you. You deserve to be loved. You deserve to be surrounded by people who love you. But you have to be willing to accept it."

Thoughts raced through Elizabeth's head. Numerous funerals and cemeteries. Her mother standing in her bedroom door and then walking away for the last time. Will shuffling back and forth telling her that he wouldn't be at her graduation. Her sitting in the McCord living room listening to Aunt Joan call her every name she could think of and several more she'd never thought to consider. And then there was Henry. Henry who held her when she cried outside the abortion clinic, when he thought that she had the abortion. He had held her even though he was against it. Henry who defended her honor at every turn. Henry, who upended his life plans to make sure hers wouldn't be annihilated.

She finally looked up at him and his concern almost broke her. "I don't know how."

"Let me teach you," he whispered against her lips.


	10. Chapter 10

Chapter 10

Henry sat next to Elizabeth in the waiting room at the doctor's office. She fidgeted almost constantly, eventually pushing herself to stand as she paced the far end of the room. She was a week overdue and miserable didn't begin to convey how she felt. "McCord?" the nurse called from the doorway.

Henry stood and waited until Elizabeth made her way to the nurse. "How are we doing today, Elizabeth? Is this your husband?"

"Unfortunately, I'm still here. Yes. Marissa, this is Henry. Henry, this is Dr. Brooke's nurse, Marissa." She sucked in as deep a breath as she could, wondering when it happened that walking across a room winded her. She kicked out of her shoes and stepped up on the scale.

Henry sneaked a peek at the numbers. _160\. That doesn't seem like a lot. Of course I don't know how much she weighed before becoming pregnant. _He caught the nurse grimace and Elizabeth returned it.

"Henry, you can have a seat in Exam Room 2. Elizabeth will join you in a minute." Henry looked a bit confused. Elizabeth noticed immediately.

"I have to pee in a cup. You can join me if you like." She smirked at him as he shook his head.

"I think you can manage that one." Elizabeth appeared a few minutes later and sat on the end of the exam table. Henry moved to stand next to her. He rested one arm around her back and placed his other hand on top of hers, which was on top of her bump. "Thank you for letting me come with you today."

"I'm sorry. I should've been more receptive to you joining me. Mostly, I just felt like this was my burden. And I know you asked and your mom mentioned it more than once, but it just felt like something I needed to hide."

"I don't want you to hide anymore. Not this baby. Not being young and married. Nothing. You are an incredible person, Elizabeth and the world needs to know it." He moved to kiss her cheek and she turned her head so that he caught her mouth instead. He grinned against her lips and laced his fingers through hers. "I love you," he whispered. He felt her smile, but she didn't respond. One day she would be able to verbalize it. Until then, he would wait.

Marissa knocked and entered the room. She asked how Elizabeth was feeling and shared that her urine sample looked good and everything looked good. "Dr. Brooke will be in shortly. You're her next patient." She disappeared from the room and Henry looked around at the tiny exam room. There were a couple beach themed paintings on the wall and three medical posters-the female anatomy, the developing fetus, and something about gestational diabetes.

"Are you okay?" Elizabeth asked. Henry turned an nodded. "They don't do much at these appointments. The doctor is going to come in and tell me I've gained too much weight for this late in my pregnancy and measure my belly and tell me that the baby will come anytime." She sighed. "How can I wish that it would come right now and never at the same time?"

Henry thought about how to answer that, but was interrupted by a knock at the door followed by the entrance of the doctor. "Hi, it's Henry right? I'm Jennifer Brooke. It's nice to finally meet you." Henry gave Elizabeth a look.

"I'm glad I was able to make it. Our classes don't line up very well, so when Elizabeth can come, I'm usually not available."

The woman nodded and turned her attention to Elizabeth. "Looks like you gained four pounds since last Friday. That's quite a bit for this late in your pregnancy."

"If Henry's pasta wasn't so good, I wouldn't have this problem. Although it gives me terrible heartburn now."

Dr. Brooke seemed unmoved. "Good news is that the heartburn will almost certainly go away once Baby McCord isn't displacing all of your organs. Bad news is that it will just be more to lose later on." Elizabeth nodded as if she'd heard this lecture before. "Okay, let's lay you back," she said as she pulled out the end of the exam table for Elizabeth's legs. Elizabeth lay back on the crinkling tissue paper and Dr. Brooke fished a plastic tape measure from the pocket of her coat. She pressed down, putting the end on Elizabeth's pubic bone and stretched it over her belly, feeling around for the top of her uterus. "Looks like a ¾" increase. We should see baby anytime."

Elizabeth looked at Henry and grinned, causing him to chuckle. The doctor continued, unphased. "Is there anything else we need to talk about?"

"Well, I'm a week overdue. Is there anything we can do to get this process going? I'm really tired of being pregnant."

Dr. Brooke went through a short list of things that were thought to aid the start of labor, but ended it with "and sometimes babies come when babies want to come. If you want, we could strip your membranes?"

Henry moved to stand next to Elizabeth. "What does that mean, and what does it do?" He looked at Elizabeth who looked as lost as he did.

"I manually separate the amniotic sac from the uterine wall. It releases a hormone that stimulates contractions. In some women, it jumpstarts labor in as little as 24 hours." Henry's question must have been easily read from his facial expression. "I use my gloved hand."

"Oh," Henry said, looking at Elizabeth. She looked like she was about to be sick.

"Okay, let's do it," she said softly

Dr. Brooke pulled a gown from a lower cabinet. "You can just slip your bottoms off and put this gown on, opening to the back, and I'll be back in shortly." She tossed the gown onto a chair and helped Elizabeth sit up before disappearing.

Henry looked at Elizabeth. "Are you sure? It sounds painful."

"Henry. I'm about to squeeze a human through a slit that's normally the diameter of a quarter. I think this is the least painful of all the things that will be happening in the upcoming days." Henry just nodded, understanding her point.

"Should I stay or go? I'm not sure what you're comfortable with, and we haven't really talked about it." Elizabeth held out her hand and Henry helped down off the table. She stepped into the corner and pulled a cloth curtain around her. Shimmying out of her pants and underwear, she left them on the floor, both unwilling and unable to pick them up in the tight quarters. She slipped her arms through the holes and tried to wrap it around herself as best she could. Pulling the curtain back, she planned to pick up her clothes, but Henry jumped up and did it for her, laying the items on the chair.

"I'd like you to stay," she murmured. "For everything. I could do this by myself, but I don't want to." She reached her hand out toward him which he took. "Thank you."

"No babe. Thank you for allowing me in. I want to be part of this." He helped her sit back down on the exam table and then hugged her. He held her like that until Dr. Brooke returned.

Henry laid her back and she put her feet up in the stirrups. "This is the most compromising position ever," Elizabeth muttered.

Dr. Brooke laughed. "It's only going to get worse from here on out. Modesty becomes a thing of the past once you go into labor." She talked Elizabeth through the procedure and Henry took Elizabeth's had once it started.

Elizabeth felt a lot of pressure and there was pain, but not as much as she thought there might be, and then it was over. Only a couple minutes really. Before long, they were walking out of the office, hand in hand. "How are you doing?" Henry asked, noticing that Elizabeth was moving slower than she had been earlier in the day.

"I'm fine. Just exhausted. I'm so happy it's Friday and midterms are over. Maybe I can rest this weekend." Henry knew she was really worn out because she leaned into him without him stepping in to prompt her to do so.

They spent a quiet afternoon together, watching a bad TV movie while eating sandwiches for dinner. Elizabeth went to bed early to try and get some sleep before the baby started kicking, ending her rest for the night. Henry was putting his things away the the first time he heard her moan. He stood stock still and waited. There was nothing. He finished cleaning up and made sure the door was locked and went to get ready for bed. He heard her again while brushing his teeth.

Henry crept into Elizabeth's bedroom and watched her. She was still sleeping, her hand resting on her belly. The light from the street shone in through the cracks in the blinds, illuminating her face. She looked peaceful and calm and strikingly beautiful. He carefully sat on the edge of the bed and kept vigil.

He checked his watch and noted that it was roughly every ten minutes that she tensed, her mouth becoming a tight line. Sometimes she whimpered, but mostly not. It lasted for 30 seconds or so and then she visibly relaxed. Henry watched this cycle for about an hour before rising and making sure Elizabeth had clean clothes laying on the end of the bed and he placed her, already packed, bag near the front door. He was ready. When he could think of nothing else to do, he climbed in behind her to rest himself.

In her sleep, Elizabeth relaxed back into him and grabbed his hand, pressing it to her belly. Henry smiled. She was always more willing to accept his affection when she was sleeping. He supposed she was more relaxed and in tune with what she wanted when she was sleeping. He quickly prayed for her safety and the baby's and fell into a light slumber.

Elizabeth's dreams were all over the place. Moments of peace and calm followed by discomfort and eventually pain. She willed herself to stay asleep, relaxing when she felt Henry's presence. When the pain came frequently, she moaned loudly, waking. Henry was beside her, holding her hand.

"Good morning," he said. "How do you feel?"

"Like I slept forever, but not at all." Elizabeth was sure she had something funny to add, but the contraction gripped her entire body in a vise and she couldn't move or breathe. When it finally eased, she gasped, trying to catch her breath. Tears filled her eyes, but didn't fall. "I think we're going to have to go," she whispered.

"I'm right here. Don't forget that." Henry kissed her forehead and helped her to her feet. Elizabeth wanted to shower but when another contraction held her hostage for more than a minute, causing her to cling to Henry hoping he could keep her upright, they decided it was best to just go straight to the hospital.

Four hours later, Elizabeth lay in the hospital bed with her feet in stirrups, her body seemingly revolting against itself in what felt like a whole body muscle spasm. When it finally eased, she heard a voice. "Okay, Elizabeth, when the next contraction comes, you need to push." It was Dr. Brooke and she sat at the foot of the bed ready to deliver their baby.

Elizabeth had a fleeting thought that at some point in her life, she might have been embarrassed about having her legs spread open for view to the five people that roamed the room, but at this point she no longer cared. Coming back to reality, Elizabeth nodded taking in huge gulps of air and as she tried to steel herself for the next wave. Henry wiped her forehead with a damp cloth and she turned to look at him.

She had never seen him look so distraught. She reached up and touched his cheek. "Keep your eye on the prize McCord," she murmured. He kissed her forehead and wrapped his hand around hers as her muscles contracted, and she pushed.

Elizabeth felt like she'd run a marathon. Every single part of her body felt like it was beyond the point of exhaustion. She'd been pushing for an hour and didn't think she could go on. The contractions kept coming one on top of the other, and she just couldn't gather enough strength to push. "Come on baby, you can do it. Let's get it done." Elizabeth lay motionless as another contraction ripped through her and she could only lay there and take it.

"Doctor." Henry watched the nurse who was standing on Elizabeth's other side shift her eyes from Dr. Brooke to the monitor above Henry's head.

Dr. Brooke stood up and leaned over Elizabeth, causing Henry to wonder how he hadn't noticed her height before. She towered over them both, and he could honestly say he was a bit intimidated in that moment. She spoke, her voice low and commanding. "Elizabeth. I need you push and push hard. This needs to happen right now because if it doesn't, your baby will be in danger." Elizabeth rolled her head to the side and closed her eyes, taking a slow breath. "Do you hear me Elizabeth?"

Elizabeth didn't move, which caused Henry to move to plead with her, but one look from the doctor shut him down. "Look at me Elizabeth." Henry let out a sigh of relief when his wife turned her head and looked at the doctor. "This is your first lesson in motherhood. Being a mom is about doing whatever you have to do to protect your child. I don't care that you're tired. This baby doesn't care either, so it's time to get your head on straight and dig deep and push this baby out. You have about 3 minutes before I call to have them prep the OR and I don't think you really want to go that route if we can avoid it. Got it?" When Elizabeth didn't respond, the doctor looked to the nurse. "Call and have them prep OR2 for me."

"No," Elizabeth said, causing the doctor to turn back and look at her. "I'm fine." Elizabeth's tone of voice was nothing short of venomous and both the doctor and Henry recoiled.

"That's better. Now, let's do this." She moved back to her position at the foot of the bed and with the next contraction, Elizabeth rolled forward and pushed. "That's more like it. Hold it. Keep holding it. Relax." Elizabeth fell back against the pillows. "Again," Dr. Brooke said, and Elizabeth pushed again.

"Ahh," she moaned, her eyes closed, tears seeping out of them, dripping on her hospital gown. The burning was fierce, and just as she was about to give up, it stopped. Everything stopped.

"Babe," Henry whispered, his head against the side of hers. "Look." Just then she heard the wail of tiny baby lungs filled with air. The nurse had the baby around the chest vigorously rubbing all of the gunk off. Elizabeth's only thought was that looked terribly unsafe, but she couldn't vocalize that. She was too exhausted. Instead, she raised a hand toward the baby.

Henry noticed. "Can she see our baby?" he asked. The nurse nodded and quickly finished and moving toward them. She placed the baby facedown on Elizabeth's chest and pulled the sheet Elizabeth had across her stomach over them both. "We made a baby, Elizabeth." She nodded weakly. He grinned, "Do you think at some point we might want to find out if our baby is a boy or girl?" She smirked.

"Are you really that curious?" Henry just looked at her. "Fine," she murmured, looking down at the baby. "Daddy is impatient. I just pushed you out through an impossibly small opening and he's anxious to see if he's buying trucks or tutus."

"I might buy both regardless," he said, taking the blanket from the nurse before picking up the baby. "We've got a Benjamin Patrick, babe."

Elizabeth grinned in spite of her exhaustion. "I want us to raise him to be just like his dad." She pulled him down by his shirt and kissed him. "Thank you."


	11. Chapter 11

AN: Happy Thursday! im sitting in the airport waiting for my flight to spend the weekend with my MSec girls. Happy to Mother's Day to me!

Chapter 11

Henry was pacing the living room, gently bouncing Benny in his arms trying to decide what he could do to fix this situation. Benny was now three weeks old and the first few days had been fine. Elizabeth had a lot of tearing and was very sore and slow to get around, but it seemed that after the first week, it was starting to get a little better. She still hadn't returned to classes, but her professors were very understanding and as long as she followed the syllabi for her courses, she could pop back into class when she was ready. Elizabeth had been an exemplary student up to the day she had the baby, so Henry felt the leniency was deserved, and he knew she would do the work.

They had discussed and decided before Benny was born that they would bottle feed him. Henry contended that because he would have the baby for half of the time, it would put an undue burden on Elizabeth to have to pump milk for when she was away. But once she was at the hospital, the nursing staff convinced her to give breastfeeding a try, and it was working well, so Elizabeth wanted to stick with it. She argued that it would save money and help her lose all the weight she'd gained over the course of the pregnancy. Henry didn't think she'd have much trouble losing weight anyway as active as she was, but he certainly wasn't going to tell her no. Things had been going well.

Then the middle of the second week hit, and everything started to unravel. Elizabeth became withdrawn and didn't want to get out of bed. She didn't talk more than she absolutely had to. Her eyes grew sunken and her skin seemed to take on a gray tint. It was almost like she was withering away before his eyes. Still, she completed her classwork and Henry found it in a pile on the corner of her dresser every morning. He took it with him and delivered it to her professors. That was the way they'd been operating for the last week, until today. Benny woke early and Henry got up with him, changed his diaper and his clothes and brought him to Elizabeth to nurse. She said nothing, but pulled Benny close, so he could latch on and stared at the wall. Henry was at a loss. Each day, Elizabeth seemed to be slipping farther away. Henry found no work on her dresser. When he asked, she didn't acknowledge the question. He went to the kitchen and made her some toast and brought it back, sitting it next to the bed. "I'll be back soon."

Henry left, although, he had a nagging feeling. He wasn't sure what he could do to change or even help the situation. He went to his first class. Normally, he would take the hour between his classes to go to the library and get some work done, but he felt compelled to go back to check on Elizabeth. He heard Benny crying from the downstairs door. Dashing up the steps and into the apartment, he found them both where he left them. He scooped Benny up. He had a dirty diaper, which Henry changed and swaddled him. As he bounced him, Benny settled and fell asleep against Henry's chest. Once he put Benny down, he went to Elizabeth. She was still staring at the wall. Frustrated, he left, slamming the door behind him.

Elizabeth couldn't move. She just stared at the same place on the wall, the one she'd been staring at for days. She couldn't explain why, but she felt like there was a weight that was constantly pressing down on her. It prevented her from moving, from caring, from being. The first few days, she blamed her hormones, but everything should be better now, but as each day passed, she felt more hopeless.

Henry needed to leave if he was going to make his next class, but he looked at Benny sleeping in the bassinet in the living room and he thought of Elizabeth in the other room. He didn't think she was in a position to take care of him if he should wake. Quickly, Henry pulled one of the bottles out of the cabinet that they had never used and filled it with warm water. He shoved it in his backpack along with a baby formula sample they had been given at the hospital, a diaper and the package of wipes. He scooped the baby up and put him in his carseat. "Elizabeth," he called. "I'm taking Benny to class with me. We'll see you in a bit."

She heard Henry. His voice seemed so far away. Taking Benny. She briefly wondered where, but couldn't make that thought go any further. She just let the weight take her.

Henry was trudging back across campus. He hadn't noticed how cumbersome the car seat was when he just walked it to the car, but trekking across campus was an entirely different matter.

"It's Henry, right?" Henry startled and looked over his shoulder. A young woman, probably three or so years older than himself closed the distance between them. "I'm Sarah. I met Elizabeth a couple months ago. My husband, David, and I live on the third floor." She glanced down at the car seat where Benny was completely covered to protect him from the November cold. "I've seen you from afar, but never had the chance to introduce myself. You on duty this morning?"

"Yeah," Henry forced a smile. It wasn't that he disliked this person, but he just had a lot on his plate, and exchanging pleasantries with someone wasn't very appealing.

"If you're going to be doing this very often, I suggest you get a baby carrier so you can wear the baby on your chest. It's a million times easier than packing the beast of a car seat around. In fact, we still have ours from Stuart. He's too big for it now. If you want, you can come up and get it. It's a lifesaver. I promise.'

"Uh, thanks. I may just do that." Henry smiled. It was genuine this time. Once inside, he pulled the cover away from Benny's face. Sarah was smitten and made a comment about growing up too fast.

"304," she said, as she headed up the next flight of stairs leaving Henry and Benny at their door. Then she disappeared from sight.

Luckily, Benny had slept the whole time and was just now rousing, ready to eat again. Henry took him into Elizabeth, who hadn't moved since early that morning. Cradling Benny in one arm, he sat on the edge of the bed next to Elizabeth. "Baby, what's wrong? I want to help. I just don't know how. Tell me how to fix it, to make you you again." She said nothing. "Benny needs to eat. Do you want to feed him or do you want me to give him a bottle?"

Inwardly, Elizabeth wanted nothing more than to sit up and hug Henry and tell him that she'd be alright. She would take Benny into her arms and feed him and watch him and love him. That's what she wanted to do, but she was unable to make herself do anything. Finally, Henry squeezed her arm and left the room with a whimpering Benny. And another level of despair enveloped her.

It was the third day Elizabeth hadn't done any work when Henry made a decision for the both of them. She wasn't able to do the work, so he'd do it for her. He wasn't quite as eloquent as she was, but he'd been proofreading and critiquing her papers all semester. Henry thought he had a handle on her writing style, at least he hoped so. For the next three weeks, Henry muddled through, trying to be there for both her and Benny. He did pick up the carrier from Sarah and that was life changing. Most of the time, Benny never woke up. Henry fed him before he left and again between classes. He slept snuggled up on Henry's chest during lectures and hours spent at the library studying. When he got home, he pulled Elizabeth from the bed, mostly sitting her in the chair in the living room with the TV on. He'd tried to take her outside for some fresh air, but that proved to be logistically difficult to manage both of them at once, so Henry settled for moving a chair in front of the window and cracking it a bit.

Henry paced the apartment at 3am the Monday before Thanksgiving. Benny was awake and didn't want to be put down. "No wonder," Henry thought. "I carry him half of the day.' Henry was exhausted. Elizabeth's six week appointment was on Tuesday afternoon and then they were supposed to be driving to Pittsburgh to be with his family for the holiday. Henry honestly wasn't sure he could make it. He'd been burning both ends of the candle for the last month. He would do it again in a heartbeat, but he just wanted Elizabeth back. He'd seen glimpses. Over the weekend, she got up and showered and rocked Benny back to sleep that morning, but by afternoon, she'd slipped back to wherever it was she went and she hadn't been back since.

Henry blew off his Tuesday classes and stayed at home to pack and get Elizabeth ready. By the time they all sat in the OB's office, Henry was ready to collapse. If it hadn't been for the promise of help that his parents' house held, he probably would have refused to go. But, the idea that someone else would ease the burden for just a bit, was enough incentive to go in spite of his exhaustion.

"McCord," Marissa called.

Henry stood, picking up a sleeping Benny, still strapped in the car seat, and Elizabeth remained staring off into space. Henry placed his hand on her head, rubbing over her forehead with his thumb, "Babe. We have to go back." Elizabeth slowly nodded and started to rise. Henry was quick to take her by the elbow and help lead her to the back.

"How are we doing today?" Marissa asked, using a chipper conversational tone.

"We're getting along," Henry replied, unsure whether it was appropriate for him to spill his guts in the middle of the hallway.

Marissa looked curiously at Elizabeth. "Let's get you weighed, shall we?" Looks like you're well below what you were when you first started coming here. Do you know what your pre-pregnancy weight was?" Elizabeth shook her head slightly. Henry exhaled thankfully. He was glad she was at least responding to their questions.

They went into the room and Marissa instructed Elizabeth to take off her clothes and put the gown on and then left. Elizabeth just started at the gown that the nurse had thrust into her hand. "Let me help," Henry said. He slipped her sweater off her shoulders and unbuttoned her shirt. He made a pile of discarded clothing at the end of the table. Her bra was next. He wondered if she would do that herself, but she made no movement to that effect, so Henry removed it quickly and slid the gown up and over her shoulders, covering her once more.

He unbuttoned her jeans, and they came down rather easily now that she'd lost so much weight. He hooked his fingers in her panties and drug them down her legs as well. He quickly tied the gown strings and held her hand, helping her to step out of her pants. For the first time since the first week they brought Benny home, Elizabeth fell into Henry's arms, asking for his embrace. "I'm sorry, " she whispered, and he felt her tears run down his neck, wetting the collar of the shirt he wore.

"Don't be. I'm always here for you," he whispered back. "But I want nothing more than to get you back. I miss you."

"Me too," she murmured.

Their reverie was disrupted by the door opening and Dr. Brooke entering. She frowned slightly, but her expression went blank instantly. "Hi guys. How's our baby boy doing?" she asked.

"He's doing great," Henry said, tipping the carseat up so Dr. Brooke could see his face.

"What a sweetie!" she praised, before her tone turned serious. "And how's mama doing?" She looked Elizabeth over, already knowing the answer. "It's pretty tough right now?"

Elizabeth wanted nothing more than to space out and hope Henry would talk for her, but when she glanced over at him, he stepped a bit closer and held her hand. He wasn't going to let her off this time. She took a deep breath and tried her best to make her thoughts coherent. "I don't know what's wrong with me. I haven't been able to function well." She kept her head down, not wanting the see the judgment in the doctor's eyes. She should be fine by now. She should be back in class. She should still be nursing Benny. She should be back to normal. The "shoulds" just kept coming. "The truth is that I'm not functioning at all."

The doctor asked Elizabeth a series of questions and diagnosed her with postpartum depression. Dr. Brooke gave her a list of therapists that she could go see and also wrote her a prescription for an antidepressant. To be cautious, she also ordered a couple blood tests to rule out a thyroid issue. The doctor explained that general hormone shifts that happen once a baby is born can cause mood swings, trouble sleeping and some lows, generally described as baby blues.

"When it goes beyond a couple weeks after the baby is born or the patient experiences extreme lows over a longer period of time, medical intervention is usually necessary. It's usually short term and will usually resolve itself within six months," Dr. Brooke informed them. Henry felt guilty for not trying more actively to figure out the problem. He could've brought Elizabeth in sooner and she could have received help earlier and not had to go through all of this. Elizabeth squeezed his hand and he looked at her. She was thinking the same thing he was. If only she had known.

Elizabeth had healed well and her stitches dissolved, so she was cleared physically. Dr. Brooke wanted to see her back in two weeks to see how the medication was working and if she had seen a therapist. Henry was happy that part was added because he thought Elizabeth would fight back on the need to see someone to talk things out. He didn't think that would be her go to strategy.

They left hand in hand, heading straight to the pharmacy to fill the prescription of Xanax before leaving town. After feeding Benny and grabbing lunch themselves, they headed out toward Pittsburgh. Henry had been worried about falling asleep on the drive, but the relief that flowed through him was enough to help him easily drive straight through, especially with Elizabeth and Benny sleeping the whole way.

Henry barely got the car in park before Erin was out the door and down the sidewalk welcoming them. She took Benny into the house and Shane met them to get their bags. Henry followed with Elizabeth, who was slow to wake up and slower getting into the house. She started in the living room, but within the hour, it became obvious, to Henry at least, that Elizabeth needed to go upstairs. He didn't even need to ask because she was struggling to pull herself up as he stood. He helped Elizabeth up the stairs and gave her a second dose of Xanax and sent her off to bed.

Evelyn was waiting at the bottom of the stairs when he returned. "Is Benny okay?" he asked, taken off guard.

"Benny's fine. It's Elizabeth who's not. How long has she been this way?" Evelyn's voice held authority and was about to cut Henry down for not taking care of her.

"A month, but we saw the doctor today and she prescribed something to help and she's making Elizabeth see someone. It's going to be okay." Henry was surprised that his voice sounded much more sure than he felt.

"Henry, damnit. I talk to you every other day and you didn't think to tell me this was going on? I would've known right away. I'm a nurse for Christ's sake."

"You might have known, but I didn't. And I was just trying to hold it all together until she got better. I don't need you jumping down my throat." He closed his eyes and sat down on the step. "I'm sorry. I didn't mean to snap at you. You're right. I should've said something. I just didn't want to rat her out. She's been through so much and I thought she just needed some time."

Evelyn looked him over. "You look like shit Henry. Go to bed. I've got Benny." She stood and took a couple steps away before turning back. "Do you think Elizabeth would mind if I check to see what they have her on? There are some new things out now. I'm just wondering what they prescribed."

He shrugged. "I think she'd be okay with it. I'll ask though." Henry went and took Benny from Maureen, who had just arrived home. She huffed but said nothing. He showed his mom where Benny's things were and how to make the bottles. Then he gave Benny a squeeze and a kiss on his forehead and handed him back to Maureen before retiring upstairs.

Once he changed, he brushed his teeth and slipped in between the covers next to Elizabeth. He hadn't slept in the same bed with her since the night before Benny was born. He sort of wondered if it would be okay with her, but there wasn't really a place for him to sleep otherwise. It took Henry by surprise when he laid down that she immediately scooted closer, wrapping her arm around his chest and sliding her leg between his, her head on his shoulder, and she slept soundly. Henry listened to her steady breathing for a few minutes before he let go and succumbed to his own exhaustion.

Bright sun shone through the windows of the bedroom as Henry blinked his eyes slowly trying to wake up. When he could finally focus he turned his head to check the clock. "Holy shit," he said. "1 o'clock!" It wasn't until he sat up that he realized that he was in an empty bed. Quickly, he tugged on his sweatpants and t-shirt and headed downstairs. He couldn't believe his eyes when he saw Elizabeth sitting on the couch, holding Benny and smiling. He moved to sit beside her, leaning in to kiss his cheek. She turned her head and caught his mouth, kissing him tenderly.

A chorus of "get a room" came from his siblings, but Henry didn't care. His Elizabeth was back. Even if it was only for a little while, he knew she was still in there and he'd wait however long it took to get her back fully.

"You have morning breath," she giggled.

"You taste like coffee," he countered. "You feel better." It was a statement, not a question, but she nodded as an answer anyway.

"Your mom said that for the first four days, I'm getting a very strong dose and then it looks like they are slowly going to take me down to a regular dose over the next week. Maybe taking so much at once is why I feel like me again."

"Maybe, but I don't care about the why or the how. I'm just so happy to know that the Elizabeth I fell in love with is still in there somewhere."

"I love you Henry," she said, kissing him again, and in that moment, Henry had no rebuttal. He was completely at her mercy


	12. Chapter 12

AN: Here is a new installment. I hope you enjoy it.

Chapter 12

Thanksgiving was the respite they both needed badly. By Sunday, when they were on their way back home, Elizabeth chatted most of the way and they both enjoyed all of the loving attention that Benny got from his grandparents and aunts and uncle.

When they were coming up on the exit for Middletown, Elizabeth quieted, and Henry caught it immediately. "Do you want to go see her?" he asked.

"I think I should, but I don't think I can handle it, not today, and not after the past month or so. She can wait." Henry nodded, thankful that she felt the same way because he was worried that he might have to try to talk her out of going.

"Do you think Will would come to my parents' house for Christmas?" Henry asked suddenly. "At least for a few days? I'm sure Mom wouldn't mind and it would do you guys some good to spend a little time together. Don't you think? Will needs to know his nephew."

"Maybe. Do you think he'd come?" Elizabeth seemed hopeful.

"I think you should invite him. I'll double check, but I'm sure Mom will be up for it and Dad probably won't notice an extra person. He'll think it's another boyfriend of Maureen's." Elizabeth laughed.

They were back home about an hour when Elizabeth noticed her backpack hanging on the hook by the door. She turned to Henry with a look of sheer horror, that scared Henry to death. "What?"

"My classes. I haven't done work in I don't even know how long. There's no way I can catch up even if my professors will let me turn things in late. My scholarship!" She collapsed onto the couch. She might have cried, but she was too stunned. "How did I get so bad that I forgot about school?"

"You're fine, babe. Don't worry. You're not behind. I took care of it. You can just start on this week's stuff tomorrow." Henry stepped over to check Benny before sitting down next to her, taking her hand. "It's okay."

"But, how, Henry? There's no way. I had probably four papers and a test before Thanksgiving."

"You had five papers and a test, and they're done. I did them. I wrote them like you would write them and Calculus sucks, so you're going to have to do a little work to get that grade as high as you had it, but I got a tutor and tried my best. You definitely won't lose your scholarship, which was my goal."

Elizabeth stared open mouthed at him. "Henry, that's cheating. You could be kicked out. How did you do your work and mine?" She was in disbelief.

"I was not going to let you lose your scholarship over something that you had no control over. You worked too hard to get here. You deserve to stay. That, and your grades probably ended up being lower with me doing your assignments anyway, so it's not like you were gaining much having me do your work."

"How are your grades?" she asked. "I hope yours didn't fall trying to keep mine up."

"My scholarship is fine. And so are my grades. We're both fine. I told you I was with you for always. Babe, you weren't in a good place, but I didn't think twice about picking you up and carrying your load. It wasn't easy, but I would do it again in a heartbeat. I love you, Elizabeth McCord."

"You are such a good man Henry. I'm not sure how I ended up being the luckiest girl in the world, but I'm here and I promise that I won't let you forget how much I love you." She grabbed a fistful of his shirt and pulled him to her. She kissed him hard. It was unrelenting, and passion coursed through their veins. Suddenly, she let him go and looked at her watch. "I think we have roughly 40 minutes before Benny wakes. What do you say we consummate our marriage?" He laughed and then saw that she was serious. "I want to be with you. I'm ready."

Henry was shocked. "I don't know if that is a good idea. You're just coming from a really low place and I don't want you to feel taken advantage of at some point." He watched her expression cloud. "It's not that I don't want to. God knows I want to, but I want to make sure you're in a good place first."

Elizabeth was disappointed, but she couldn't really argue with this logic. "Can we just make out until Benny wakes up then?" she winked and Henry was done. He grinned and pushed her down on the couch, pinning her there and she laughed. It was such a beautiful sound that Henry forced himself to stop and take it in. There was a period of time when he didn't know if he'd ever get to hear her laughter and he was happy he had and would get to again and again.

"What?" she asked.

"I'm just so happy you are feeling better. At the time, I was just surviving, trying to keep us all afloat, but now that I have you back and see how bad it was, I don't ever want to do that again. Henry rested his forehead against hers. "I love you more than I can even tell you."

Over the next three weeks Elizabeth had some days that were tougher than others but overall she was much improved and Henry made sure she saw someone to devise strategies for dealing with the bad days. She was able to cut back to an average dose of the Xanax and when she saw the OB, Dr. Brooke made her next appointment for 2 months out and they would discuss cutting back even further.

Elizabeth finished her first semester with a 4.0 GPA, although she was pretty sure she had the bell curve to thank for her A in calculus. She didn't think it was mathematically possible to get the A on her own merit. To thank Henry for all he had done, she wanted to give him a special evening. The upstairs neighbor, Sarah, offered to keep Benny for a few hours, and Elizabeth went and picked up take out from a local Chinese place. When Henry came back to the apartment late that Friday afternoon in December, his last final completed, he opened the door to find the front room bathed in candle light and the table covered in a tablecloth with candles and plates of food already set out.

"Elizabeth," he called, both confused and overwhelmed by what was happening in that moment. She emerged from the bedroom wearing a beautiful navy dress that clung to her body, which had taken some shape since she started eating healthy food and being active again. He forced himself to blink, dropping his backpack and coat on the chair nearest the door. "You look gorgeous," he whispered before kissing her and hugging her tightly. "Where's-?" he started.

"At Sarah's for a while. We owe her some babysitting when she and David want to go out for their anniversary next month. But, we need to do some celebrating of our own tonight." Elizabeth pressed herself against Henry's chest and kissed him slowly. "We made it Henry. We got married and started college, had a baby, and survived. I couldn't have done it without you." She kissed him again. "Let's eat," she said pulling him to the table.

Twenty minutes passed and they had emptied all of the take out boxes and talked about all of their finals and end of semester stuff that needed to be taken care of. She rose from the table with the containers to place them in the trash can, when she was suddenly overcome by nervousness. Henry sensed it right away and finished by grabbing the glasses off of the table and meeting her in the kitchen. She was standing at the kitchen sink, staring out into the darkness that early evening now brought. Henry slipped in behind her and rested his large hands on her hips, his fingers splayed across her lower abdomen. He felt the hitch in her breath. "Are you alright?" he asked.

"I've been waiting for this for a while now, and I just want it to be perfect, for you," she said softly.

Henry shook his head. "No matter what it is, it will be perfect because it is you and me." He removed his hand and held it out for her. She placed her hand in his and let him lead her to the bedroom.

When Henry emerged a couple hours later to go upstairs and collect Benny, he left Elizabeth in bed lightly dozing. She yawned and stretched when Henry returned, placing a squirming Benny next to her. Benny calmed immediately, snuggling against her chest. Elizabeth looked up at Henry in amazement. "It doesn't seem like that long ago that my entire world was falling apart. Now, I'm here with you and Benny, and I don't see how my life could be any more put together than it is in this moment. I love our family, and I have you to thank Henry."

Henry sat on the edge of the bed. "I could say the exact same thing, only I'd say it about you. You are Benny are the best things that could ever happen to me. I love you both so much." He kissed her forehead. "I say we get Benny his bottle and put him down for the night and you and I recreate the past couple hours."

"Sounds like a plan McCord." she said giggling.

The next day, they packed up and made the long drive to Pittsburgh where they planned to spend the next month. Evelyn was overjoyed to see them and Patrick swooped in and took Benny away immediately. Elizabeth looked around and her hand flew up to her mouth. Strings of garland and lights topped every window. The mantle over the fireplace was covered in white batting to look like snow and had a full Christmas village set up and their tree was huge with twinkling lights and icicle strands and beautiful ornaments covering it. She hadn't seen Christmas look like this since she was 14. It was gorgeous and it made her so happy and so sad at the same time. She smiled, but tears ran down her face.

"Elizabeth?" Henry asked.

"I just-it's been a long time is all. It makes me happy and sad. It's one of those things I didn't realize just how much I missed until I have it back again." She looked at Evelyn. "Thank you." She wrapped the woman up in a hug.

"You're very welcome, but I'm not the big Christmas person in this family. You'll need to speak to Patrick for that."

Elizabeth turned and grinned at Patrick. "You definitely do Christmas right. It's beautiful." She crossed the room and gave him a hug, trying not to smash Benny cradled in his arms.

"Well, we have all this stuff. We might as well put it all out," Patrick half huffed.

"Go ahead and ask him why we have all this stuff," Evelyn cut in. "It certainly wouldn't be because I bought it.

"I just pick up a couple things a year, nothing big," he countered.

Evelyn grinned. "A couple of things a year, times twenty years equals a lot of Christmas." Everyone laughed.

"Well, I for one am in the Patrick McCord Christmas camp. Maybe we can do something crafty tomorrow." She looked hopefully at Henry.

"Tomorrow is baking day, so get your cookie decorating skills honed tonight, because you are going to need them tomorrow," Evelyn said. Elizabeth grinned ear to ear.

Elizabeth spent the next week helping Evelyn clean the house and tie up loose ends. Henry went back to the construction company he'd worked for in the summer. They had a few indoor projects they were trying to finish before the holidays as well. Erin and Shane still had school, and Maureen and Patrick had work, so for most of the week it was just Elizabeth, Benny and Evelyn. Grammy, as she preferred to be called, doted on Benny, hardly letting Elizabeth do anything with him. It was sweet, but Elizabeth was also a little jealous, although she would never admit it, so she ended up staying up well into the night holding him.

It was four days before Christmas and Elizabeth was frustrated. She'd called Will three times over the last few days and he refused to return her calls. She hadn't seen him since August before school started. He hadn't been able to leave when Benny was born and she hadn't called him in the weeks following because of her depression, but after Thanksgiving, she had called and talked to him for quite a while and invited him to the McCords. He'd been ambivalent at best and brushed her off. She'd spoken to him one other time and he dodged the question. Now she had no idea what he was doing and she was more than a little pissed off.

She had just called for the second time that morning and the boy she talked to told her that Will left early, but he had no idea where he was off to. He wished her a Merry Christmas and hung up. "Damn him," she muttered under her breath. Just then the doorbell rang and Evelyn called out, saying she was changing Benny's diaper, and asked Elizabeth to get it. Elizabeth set the phone down and plodded across the living room to answer the door.

She opened the door and nearly fell over at the sight of Will standing on the porch. "Hey sis. Merry Christmas," he said, opening his arms, like he was the surprise. It was Will that was surprised when Elizabeth nearly tackled him in a hug.

"Damn you for not telling me," she said, pulling him inside.

"Withholding information must be a genetic trait," he deadpanned. Elizabeth punched him in the arm and he shoved her back. She couldn't pretend to really be mad though. She was too happy to have him with her.

"How long are you staying?" she asked warily. She knew Will well enough to know that he would have made plans to go skiing in Vermont with friends, or mountain biking in the southwest or some other ridiculous activity all of the rich kids at Houghton Hall engaged in. Even when Will considered her in his plans, he usually only could stand to allot two or three days at best. Three days wouldn't even get him to Christmas.

"My bus ticket is for January 1st." Will said smugly. "You have to put up with me almost an entire two weeks." Elizabeth couldn't help herself and she hugged him again.

"Thank you," she whispered.

He grinned, "Henry told me that unless I want Benny to end up exactly like you, I need to put in some man-hours as the more normal Adams element, to save him from his mother. So, consider Will training commenced. Where is the little baby blob anyway?"

Elizabeth elbowed him. "Don't be a jerk." On cue, Evelyn appeared in the doorway. "Evelyn, this is my brother, Will, and this is Henry's mother, Evelyn McCord. And this," she said, taking the baby from her mother-in-law's arms, "is your nephew, Benjamin Patrick McCord, or Benny."

Will made eye contact with Evelyn first. "Thank you Mrs. McCord for allowing me to stay here. I really appreciate it." He shook her hand and flashed her a wide Adams smile, and Elizabeth saw exactly how it was that Will was offered invitations to all of his friends' homes. He was a charmer.

"And how are you little man?" he asked, peering into the blanket that Benny was wrapped in. Benny screwed up his face, turned bright red and pooped, causing Elizabeth to burst into hysterics.

"Benny's got Uncle Will figured out already!" she joked. "Good news is that you can cross diaper changing off your list right away. Come on."

When Henry walked through the door just before dinnertime that evening, he saw a scene before him that he didn't think he'd ever see. Will was sitting cross-legged on the couch receiving instruction from Shane about how best to burp Benny and he could see Elizabeth in the kitchen helping his mom and Erin fix dinner. The whole scene was surreal. Henry's old family and his new family merged into one home. There was an extreme sense of satisfaction that he felt. He didn't know he wanted it, but now that he had it, he knew how lucky he was.

Elizabeth emerged from the kitchen, wiping her hands on a dish towel. "Hey babe! I didn't hear the door." She approached him. "How was your day?" He shrugged. It was the same old job. Nothing out of the ordinary happened. "I bet you want to change. How about we go upstairs?" She took Henry's hand and started leading him in that direction. "Will, Shane, can you keep track of Benny for a few minutes? I'm going upstairs for a minute."

Once she and Henry were in their room, Elizabeth closed the door and pushed Henry against it. "Thank you." Henry looked confused. "I don't know what you said to Will but he's going to spend his whole break here, with me, with Benny, with us. That hasn't happened since the last Christmas my parents were alive. Thank you." She hugged him tightly, her pushing deeply against his chest.

"I would do anything to make you happy, Elizabeth. Don't ever forget that," he said. Then, he pushed her shoulders off of his chest, giving him access to kiss her properly.

Later that evening, Elizabeth sat on the floor with Henry's feet on either side of her, along with Benny, who was taking up residence in Maureen's lap, and Will and all of Henry's family including, Maureen's new boyfriend, Tom. Elizabeth liked him and hoped he stayed around a while. It was loud and joyful and such a stark contrast to how Elizabeth had spent holidays in the years since her parents passed, she wasn't exactly sure how to process it. Overwhelming, yes, but so warm and welcoming and lovely. For the first time in four years, Elizabeth's heart was overflowing and she couldn't have been happier


	13. Chapter 13

AN: We're getting closer to the end of this one. It will be completely posted by Monday morning. I've thoroughly enjoyed all of the wonderful and supportive comments. The MSec fandom is truly the best. Thank you.

Chapter 13

The Adams siblings spent a fair amount of down time together while they were at the McCords' home and for the most part, they got along. Will adored Benny and was very good with him, which made Elizabeth happy. Elizabeth drove him to the bus station on New Year's Day and it was as he got on the bus that Will mentioned that Aunt Joan had asked about her.

"You purposely withheld that until now, didn't you?" Elizabeth accused.

"You damn right I did and I'm still way behind you in the withholding information competition, so you don't get to give me grief about it." Will stated. There was an edge to his voice, like he wanted her to argue. The fact was that, historically, they could only get along for so long and then they needed to fight to restore their balance. Elizabeth's retort almost left her mouth, but she stopped it in time and changed the direction of the conversation.

"Should I go see her? Is it worth it?" Elizabeth felt bad even asking the question, but Joan had always been incredibly hard on Elizabeth, even back when things were good between them. Now, that Elizabeth had done something completely unacceptable and obviously unforgivable, in Joan's opinion, she didn't relish the thought of taking a verbal pounding, and for what she wondered.

Will cocked his head to the side and studied her. "I don't know if I would, but I think it was a good thing that she asked about you. And Benny is cute. Maybe that would help. I don't know sis. I'm sure you could use the money." Of course they could use the money, Will received a set amount every month and, up until Joan found out about the baby, she had too. It wasn't enough that she could go crazy, but did meet her needs without having to work. Without it, both she and Henry picked up on-campus jobs so they could buy what they needed to take care of Benny and feed themselves. Still, Elizabeth didn't think she was willing to endure the old woman's abuse just for the money.

She quickly hugged Will and sent him on his way, but the thought kept coming back as the days passed.

The three McCords returned to UVA mid January ready to tackle spring semester. They were well rested and feeling good. Having spent a month at the McCord home, Benny was constantly entertained by one of his aunts, uncles or grandparents and Will staying two weeks was the best gift Elizabeth could have received.

The semester started and they quickly fell into a routine. Henry and Elizabeth traded some babysitting with the upstairs neighbors, Sarah and David, so that once a month they got to go on a date. When Sarah proposed the trade, Elizabeth kind of thought it was silly. How could one evening a month make that much difference? She was so wrong. Henry and Elizabeth loved date night and looked forward to it all month.

Their February date night was supposed to be dinner and a movie, but when Henry stepped out to "run an errand," she thought he was up to something. They hadn't talked about doing anything special for their birthdays, but hers was coming up first and she thought he might be making special plans.

Her suspicions were confirmed when Henry called to tell her to go ahead and take Benny upstairs, that Sarah was waiting for him and when she returned, she would find a dress bag hanging in her closet. Elizabeth checked the closet and it was just her regular everyday clothes. She packed Benny's things up for the evening and took him upstairs. Sarah was all smiles, but would say nothing.

Elizabeth skipped back down and made a beeline for her closet finding a garment bag with a gift tag in the closet. She pulled the bag from the closet and read the note written on the tag. "I hope this is the beginning of the best night of your life. Love, Henry." She clutched the tag to her chest and willed her tears away. Carefully, she laid the bag flat on the bed and pulled the zipper down, before pulling back the opaque plastic to reveal the most gorgeous royal blue cocktail dress she'd ever seen. She removed the dress and held it up. It was sleeveless and fitted and would hit her a couple inches above the knee, she suspected. Looking back in the bag, she found a beautiful black velvet cape and smiled when she saw the shoe box in the bottom. Henry had thought of everything.

She readied herself quickly, pulling her hair back into a low bun with a few wisps of hair framing her face. She applied minimal makeup. She moved back to the dress and was more than shocked to find that it was backless and once on, it was cut low enough in the back that only the skimpiest pair of bikini underwear she had would work as an undergarment. Elizabeth decided that was ridiculous and chose to forego them altogether, skipping the lines that a dress this form fitting would show anyway. Elizabeth clasped her pearls around her neck and put her gold hoop earrings in. Almost like he'd been watching her, the second she was finished, there was a knock at the door. She stepped into the heels and crossed the room to open the door.

Elizabeth supposed Henry would be on the other side. It would be like him to knock on his own apartment door. Pulling the door open, they stared at each other, both stunned. Henry wore a black tailored suit with crisp white shirt and matching royal blue tie. Desire swirled inside her and she second guessed her decision to avoid pantylines.

Henry finally had the presence of mind to speak. "I thought I had the advantage of knowing what you were going to wear, but you're so much more beautiful than any image I could conjure on my own. You are mesmerizing." He handed Elizabeth a small bouquet of red roses. "Happy birthday, my love." She accepted them and smiled.

"This is already the best night of my life," she whispered, leaning in to kiss him gently.

"Well, then, you're in for a treat. Henry took the flowers and dropped them in a glass of water that sat on the counter before draping the cape over her shoulders. "You good?" he asked.

"Very much so," she replied as she looped her arm through his and he escorted her out of the apartment and down to his car. Henry drove to a nice Italian restaurant and stuffed Elizabeth with her favorite pasta. They sat close, holding hands and drinking wine. Elizabeth thought this was definitely the best birthday of her life, then Henry asked if she was ready for the next part.

"There's more? Henry, we can't afford all of this." Elizabeth tried not to be negative, but she'd seen how much their meals cost before the bottle of wine. He glanced at the receipt and slipped money into the bill cover before turning in to her.

"I've got it covered. I've been saving up for this night for a while now." He leaned in and cupped her cheek. "Even if I spent every last bit of money in the entire world, it would never come remotely close to what you're worth to me." He placed his lips on that one spot behind her ear. She hummed and squirmed against him causing him to smile.

"Henry, not here," she breathed out. She squeezed her legs together, hoping to slow the torrent of pressure that was beginning to build there.

"Come," he said, scooting his chair back to stand. "Your chariot awaits." Henry pulled Elizabeth to her feet and walked her to the door. A horse drawn carriage was parked outside. He helped her step up into the carriage and scooted in close before covering them both with a quilt. He nodded and the driver took off. They rode through the downtown area and around the park before stopping at a jazz bar close to campus.

A wide smile covered her face. She'd heard about this place from some of her friends, and she'd offhandedly mentioned it to Henry. Doing the wife/mom thing, Elizabeth often felt left out when others her age talked about parties, clubs, just going to hang out with other people. She knew Henry did too. Elizabeth had no desire to trade her life, but she did feel like she was missing out on the experience of college. They walked into the dimly lit bar. There was live music in the front and Henry led her straight to the dance floor. Pulling her close, they swayed to the music for over an hour and she melted into his arms. Elizabeth had her head on Henry's shoulder, but his neck was becoming a temptation and she planted a row of kisses along his shirt collar before nibbling his ear. "You better stop that," Henry mumbled, although he wasn't very convincing. She giggled against him.

"Come," he said, pulling her off the dance floor. When they got outside the carriage was still waiting. Henry helped her back in and asked, "Anywhere else you'd like to go baby? This is your night."

"I'd like to go home to our bed now," she whispered, need laced in her voice. He nodded.

"Hey Jamie. Can you take us back to the car, but take the long way?" The driver nodded. Elizabeth was a little confused, until Henry spoke. "I have to give you your birthday present before we go home." Elizabeth nodded.

The carrier took off and Henry turned in the seat to face Elizabeth. "Back when we decided to get married, you were worried that it would be for convenience and that I shouldn't give up my chance at love. What I didn't say then was that I was already madly in love with you and I couldn't wait to be your husband. You weren't ready for that back then, and what I said was completely true. You are my best friend and I do want to raise Benny together and I will always be there for you." Elizabeth opened her mouth to speak, but Henry shushed her. "Since then, I was lucky enough that you fell for me. I am the luckiest guy in the world and I want to give you something that means more than just our legal bond of marriage, but our own bond of love and fidelity." Henry reached into his coat pocket and pulled out a box and opened it in front of Elizabeth.

Elizabeth wasn't quite sure where Henry had been going with his little speech, but when he pulled the ring box from his pocket, she couldn't keep the tears from streaming down her face. When he opened the box, her mouth fell open. She had never seen a more beautiful ring. It was a princess cut diamond in the center flanked by two smaller sapphires. "May I?" he asked. She nodded and watched unbelieving as he slipped it on her finger, nesting it against her simple gold band. "We'll have them taken and joined together, okay?"

"I don't know what to say. Thank you doesn't seem to be even close to how I feel. I am so grateful for you Henry. Getting pregnant in high school has to be one of the dumbest things a person can do, but somehow I feel that our poor decision worked out in the best possible way. I love you so much Henry McCord and I love Benny and our little family. Thank you for giving us yourself. You are the most wonderful man I've ever met and I'm so happy that our son will have you to show him what a man should be." She slipped her hand around his neck and pulled him to her. Her lips met his, and she took control of the kiss, sliding her tongue into his mouth, teasing him.

When she released him, Elizabeth took Henry's wrist to look at his watch. "Babe, we need to get back. We have to get Benny."

"Sarah's keeping him overnight. She already agreed. It's her birthday present to you." Elizabeth grinned.

"Then we better get home soon and take advantage of our unexpected night alone." She looked at Henry, suddenly a little sad and he asked what the problem was. "It will be Benny's first night away from us. He's still so young."

Henry kissed her gently. "When we get home, how about we call Sarah and tell her to phone us when he wakes up for his middle of the night feeding and I'll run up and get him. That way we can still have our time and Benny won't be away from us all night." Elizabeth enthusiastically nodded her agreement with that plan.

"Now, do you think you can take me home? I've been waiting all night to get you out of that suit you look so hot in."

"I feel the same way," he said.

Elizabeth shot Henry a wicked grin and whispered in his ear, "Did you purposely choose this dress so I couldn't wear a bra or underwear?"

He spun to face her. "What?" he asked, a blush rising in his cheeks. She raised her eyebrows and smiled innocently. "Prove it," he growled. Elizabeth took hold of Henry's hand under the blanket and slid it up her dress until the tips of his fingertips brushed the hair at the apex of her thighs and she whimpered and bit her lower lip. "Fuck, that's hot," he said, removing his hand quickly before he started something inappropriate in a horse drawn carriage.

"Yeah, it is, so if we could get home ASAP, that would be super." She caught him by the hand. "I don't know if I can ever thank you enough for just being you. I love you so much Henry McCord."

Once home, Henry made the 20 second phone call to Sarah while Elizabeth undressed him, which might have turned awkward, but Henry didn't think Sarah noticed. Henry wasn't even completely sure the receiver made it back on the phone when he marched Elizabeth into the bedroom. One tug of the zipper down her left side and the material slid off her shoulders and rippled down her body, bunching at her feet. Henry stood slack-jawed at the beauty of his wife.

"God, you are so beautiful," he whispered. "I love you more than you'll ever know."

"Show me," she said softly taking a step out of the dress and toward Henry.

Elizabeth had never seen Henry with a more determined look than he had when he took her in his arms and laid her down on their bed.


	14. Chapter 14

Chapter 14

Henry's birthday was the following week and it came and went with much less fanfare, but it was special nonetheless. Elizabeth fixed omelets for dinner, because that was the one thing she could consistently make without burning. The big event though, was giving baby food to Benny for the first time and they had moderate success, until Benny decided it was funny to blow it back all over his eager parents, who were seated much too close. Henry and Elizabeth wiped themselves off as best they could and got Benny ready for bed.

On a whim, they jumped into the shower together and discovered that those shower sex scenes in movies must involve a great deal of editing and a lot of imagination on the viewer's part, because the entire scenario only provided a lot of giggles and thankfulness that no one was injured, although that was in question for a while.

The two were snuggled up together and Henry was just about to doze off when Elizabeth mumbled, "Joan called today." Henry tensed.

"Oh, and, how was that?" he asked.

"Surprisingly non committal. She didn't yell at me. She only asked how school was going, and if I was alright. I really thought about telling her about you and Benny, but I decided that was just opening myself up to attack, so I said it was going well and I was fine. She prattled on about going on some trip with her lady friends and then she bitched about the food before hanging up abruptly. So I don't know what that all means."

Henry kissed her shoulder. "I'm glad you didn't get yelled at. That's an improvement." Elizabeth nodded, but in the back of her mind wondered when the other shoe would fall.

Three days later, Elizabeth had just finished lunch with Henry and he headed to class. She was fixing Benny's bottle and he was already fussing when the phone rang. Elizabeth tucked the receiver against her shoulder, picked up Benny and popped the bottle in his mouth while plopping back on the chair to get them both comfortable. "Hello," she said.

"Lizzie?"

"Aunt Joan?" Elizabeth asked, wrinkling her face in confusion.

"I was trying to call my niece, Lizzie, I must have the wrong number."

"Wait, Joan. It is Lizzie. What's going on?" It was typical for Joan to go months without contacting either her or Will and most things were supervised by her lawyer, who happened to be her son. Now, to get two unsolicited calls only a few days apart, was completely out of the ordinary, and worrisome.

"Hi baby girl. I was just calling to check up on you. How's school going?" Joan crooned.

"Uh, it's fine. I'm doing well in all my classes. Are you doing alright?" Elizabeth's brows knitted together.

"Well, at 65, I've realized I'm not getting any younger, but I'm still motoring along." Elizabeth had been staring at her bare toes thinking she needed to take the remnants of summer polish off of them, but her head snapped up at Joan's statement.

"Joan, you're 75. When was the last time you talked to Jerry?" Elizabeth asked.

"Who's Jerry?"

"Your son, Jerry." Jerry was Joan's son from a first marriage. Elizabeth thought Jerry had been about 7 when Joan married, her Great Uncle Nathan. Nathan died of a heart attack the year before her parents were killed. Coincidentally, Jerry was also the executor of her and Will's trust. She had been meaning to call him about how much power Joan had over the terms of her trust. Elizabeth knew that Joan could call the shots until she was 20, but the trust was supposed to be turned over as she and Will turned 20. Elizabeth was curious if Joan could actually stop that from happening. But, now, she felt she really needed to speak to Jerry because his mom was not acting like herself. Although she wouldn't say it was an unwelcome change, it was definitely uncharacteristic.

Elizabeth refocused when Benny started squirming in her lap and she removed the bottle and sat him up to burp him. Joan was still chatting on the other end and the she suddenly stopped. "Are you babysitting or something?"

"No, Aunt Joan. It's my son, Benny. He burped and she returned him to her lap and put the bottle back in.

"You have a baby?" The woman truly seemed dumbfounded.

"Yes. He's almost 5 months old," Elizabeth said, waiting for the lectures to ensue, and she would've happily listened to the lecture as long as she wasn't called a slut or a whore.

"How come I've never seen him?" Elizabeth physically removed the phone from her ear to stare at it. _What?_ "You need to bring him to see me soon, ok baby girl?"

"Sure, maybe close to Easter. We will be driving through."

"Sounds good. Are your classes going okay?" Elizabeth once again assured the woman that they were fine and said her goodbyes. Benny had finished his bottle and Elizabeth burped him again and changed his diaper before rocking him to sleep. Once she had him down for his afternoon nap, she immediately called Jerry.

"Early onset Alzheimer's," Jerry said. "That's honestly why I had to put her in the nursing home. She was doing okay, but it was little things and I was terrified she'd leave the stove on or wander out of the house and forget where she lived. Her personality has been very erratic too."

"Tell me about it. Six months ago, I was a host of unpleasant names and she's now called twice in the past three days to check in." They chatted and Elizabeth got the information about her trust, and Jerry said he would talk to his mom about reinstating Elizabeth's monthly allowance that came out of the interest. Elizabeth ended the call, feeling better about the entire situation. She was glad that it was possibly an illness that made Joan so volatile. It helped her to be more charitable towards her aunt.

Against Henry's wishes, Elizabeth opted to stay at school during spring break while he had training for ROTC. She wanted some time to get ahead on work for the end of the year, and she knew that if she went to Pittsburgh, she would just end up hanging out all week and not get near as much accomplished. The first few days were relaxing and productive, but by Thursday, Elizabeth was feeling a little isolated, so she decided to go to Middletown to see Aunt Joan to thank her for reinstating her allowance.

She smiled, thinking Jerry must have made a good case, because she also received a check for the back pay she'd missed previous several months. It came at just the right time too. Henry's car had broken down the week before and needed an expensive repair and new tires. They were able to take care of both and put the rest of the money in savings for any other unexpected expense that might pop up.

Loading Benny in the car, she made the trip, but as she pulled into the parking lot of the retirement community, she started to get nervous. What if Joan's mood had turned? Did she want to subject Benny to that? She decided that she would just check it out and then just leave if the situation wasn't okay. Nothing prepared her for what she walked into though.

She knocked and entered the room. Joan looked alert and smiled, but it was blank, lacking recognition. "Hi, Joan," Elizabeth said.

"Hello," Joan said, curiously. Looking at the car seat hooked through Elizabeth's arm, she said, "Did you bring a baby to visit me?"

"I did. Aunt Joan. This is Benny." She moved forward and turned the car seat so Joan could see Benny, who was smiling and kicking his feet. Joan's eyes lit up. But Elizabeth was totally caught off guard by Joan's words.

"I sure do miss babies. My Jerry now is four years old. They grow so quickly. What did you say your name was?"

"It's Elizabeth." She forced a smile and removed Benny. The two had a nice basic chat about the weather and Benny and how he was rolling over and could sit with minimal help and Joan recounted many stories from when Jerry was baby. After about half an hour, Benny was getting tired and Elizabeth let Joan hug him before returning him to the car seat. As she was bent down adjusting the buckles, Joan said, "Lizzie?" Her tone had changed. Not venomous as it had once been, but harsh, yet confused. Elizabeth froze.

"Hi Aunt Joan. I thought Benny and I would come to see you."

Joan huffed. "You just got here and you're already leaving." Her tone was accusatory.

Elizabeth scrambled to diffuse the situation. "Uh, you didn't seem like yourself. Benny is tired. If you want, I'll make a bottle and you can feed him." She ignored Joan's jab about how she should be breastfeeding. That wound was still pretty fresh. She gritted her teeth and forced a smile. "If you don't want to, I can," she said, pouring the powder into the bottle of warm water. She capped it and shook it to dissolve the powder and started to sit down when Joan wiggled her fingers.

"Give him to me." Elizabeth subconsciously bit her bottom lip. "Oh for God's sake Lizzie. I had a kid. It's not something you forget how to do."

Elizabeth looked at her aghast. "I didn't think you would since you were breastfeeding."

Joan pursed her lips. "It wasn't because I didn't try."

Elizabeth smiled, and hoped she didn't show too much smug satisfaction at having caught Joan being hypocritical, "Me either." She handed Benny over, along with the bottle and burp cloth.

Joan studied Benny as he sucked the bottle, letting go every few sucks to grin at the older woman. "Your man still around?" she asked, breaking the silence.

"Henry? Uh, he didn't come with me today. He's at a training for ROTC this week. If we come at Easter, he will come with us."

Joan looked up in surprise. "He hasn't left yet?"

"No," Elizabeth said slowly. "He isn't going to leave."

Joan let out a hoarse bark that startled Benny, but she quickly soothed him and he went back to his bottle. "That's what they all say. I hadn't even made it out of the hospital with Jerry when that son of a bitch Johnny went out to get a bite to eat and never came back."

Elizabeth gasped. There were a lot of things that made sense now-Joan's strong reaction to finding out she was pregnant, her insistence on getting an abortion, her disdain for Henry, and probably even her coolness to being named her and Will's guardian. "I can't imagine how hard that was. I know hard it's been for me and I have Henry and he is all in. In truth, he may do more than I do. He's so good with Benny, and loves us both so much."

"Consider yourself lucky. I had to drop out of college and get a waitressing job, and barely made enough to pay for our one room and the sitter so I could work for peanuts. I can't believe we survived."

"But, you met Uncle Nate. That was better, right?" Elizabeth had adored her great-uncle, even though her family didn't see her grandfather's brother very often. He was a tall, broad man who laughed heartily and was always so warm and welcoming. She hoped Joan didn't have bad things to say about him.

"Nathan saved Jerry and I. He was a Godsend. He loved me even when I couldn't love myself and Jerry like his own. And then he left too." Elizabeth had an inkling of how she felt. Elizabeth had often felt that way about her parents departure, like somehow they chose to leave and purposely screw her over. When she was rational, she knew that they would never choose to die and leave her, but when she sat in the depths of despair, it was all too easy to walk down that road and blame them for leaving her.

Joan burped Benny and he started squirming. Elizabeth took him back and held him in just the right way, rocking him back and forth until he was asleep moments later. "Classes, okay. Your grades are good?" Joan asked, and Elizabeth now understood why. Joan had to quit school. She was trying to make sure that Elizabeth didn't follow the same fate.

"Yes. I'm doing well. If there is one thing for certain. Henry will make sure I graduate. He wants that for me. It was why he completely changed schools and married me, so that I could keep my scholarship, and we could raise Benny together."

Joan nodded and closed her eyes. Once Elizabeth was sure that Benny was sound asleep, she buckled him into his car seat. She thought that Joan might have drifted off, but then she murmured. "That's good. If you have an education, you can make it, even if one day he doesn't come home."

Tears formed in her eyes. Losing Henry was perhaps her deepest fear, and she did not want to confront that. Ever. "I pray not," she whispered.

"I do to Lizzie." Elizabeth kissed her aunt and bid her goodbye. Once back in the car, she leaned back in the seat and thought about Joan. She'd always been a hard woman to get along with, but now Elizabeth felt like she had more insight. She connected with Joan more in that visit than in every visit she'd ever had with her aunt. Joan was perhaps a product of her circumstances. Although glad to understand where Joan was coming from, Elizabeth was so happy to have Henry, a man who loved her with all his heart and who would do anything to protect their family.


	15. Chapter 15

AN: There's only one more chapter of this fic, which I will post in the morning.

Chapter 15

July 1990

"Mom, Mom, Mom, Mommy, Mommy!" Benny's voice increased in both pitch and volume incrementally each time he called her. Elizabeth sat on the toilet, her elbows perched on her knees rubbing her temples in an attempt to ward of the headache that was brewing.

"Benny," she snapped. "Please, can I pee in peace?" He stopped, but then she saw the chubby fingers poking out from under the door and the sniffling of her son beginning to cry. "Just a sec, baby," she acquiesced. Quickly she finished, washed her hands, and opened the door. Benny lay face down on the floor trying to peek under the door.

The little boy's tear streaked face popped up. "Mama?" he said. A wave of guilt washed over her. She sighed.

"Mama's sorry baby. Come here." She knelt down and helped him crawl into her arms before picking him up and carrying him to the couch. Sitting down, she hugged him tightly and let him curl up against her. "What's wrong?" she whispered softly, although she already knew the answer.

"Daddy comin' home?" Tears filled Benny's eyes and Elizabeth tried hard not to fall to pieces.

"Yes, Benny, Daddy will come home. He's at soldier school remember. He's learning to be a good soldier for the Marines. Then he'll get to come home and visit before he goes away again.

Tears slid down his fair skin creating red tracks. "I miss Daddy. I want him home now.'

Elizabeth's heart broke. "I know baby. I do too. How about you go and get the letter Daddy wrote for you and we'll read it together?" Benny slipped off her lap and went trotting to his bedroom. He returned a minute later carrying a tattered envelope. He scampered back up into Elizabeth's lap and thrust it in front of her face. She pulled the letter out and started to read Henry's letter to Benny for probably the 500th time since Henry left for boot camp 6 weeks ago.

_Dear Benny,_

_Daddy has to take a trip to go to soldier school. I will be gone for a long time, but I want you to know I am working hard to get back to you as soon as I can. I love you to the moon and back and I will think of you every moment that we're apart. Take care of your mama and be a big boy for me. Make sure you talk to God every day and ask Him to help you be good and keep our family safe. I love you so much, and I'll be back as soon as I can. Love, Daddy_

Benny crawled across the couch and pulled the photo of the three of them off the end table and studied it. Elizabeth scooted over beside him. "What do you say we go to the park today and try to make some friends?" she asked. "We can have some fun and take our minds off missing Daddy, okay?"

"I want my old friends. I miss them." Elizabeth was at a loss to console her son. There were so many changes and Benny was taking the brunt force of it. She and Henry had not adequately prepared him and that just piled on Elizabeth's guilty conscience.

Between graduation, moving to DC, Elizabeth starting her job at the CIA and Henry leaving for boot camp, literally everything in Benny's life had changed. They left all of his friends from the housing building-the ones he saw daily at the nearby park or when the building had get togethers.

He had never been to daycare other than a twice a week morning program she enrolled him in at the college just to get out of the apartment, and most of the time, she didn't even leave. She just studied out in the hallway for the two hours. Now he was in daycare 9 hours a day with complete strangers, and Henry was gone-13 weeks total. They had just finished week 6. Plus, he was used to spending most of his time with at least one of his parents, and now, he only saw Elizabeth in the morning before work and for a couple hours in the evening before bed.

Elizabeth pulled Benny back up into her lap. "I know this is hard. It's hard for me too. What can we do to make ourselves feel better?"

Benny cuddled against her chest and was quiet for a long time. She thought he might have forgotten or got distracted when he looked up at her and said, "We should eat ice cream."

She squeezed him tight. "Just when I think I can't love you more, you say something like that. Let's go get some ice cream!"

They sat together at a picnic table outside the little mom and pop ice cream shoppe that was just down the street. Benny was almost shoveling the ice cream into his mouth despite the warnings of getting an ice cream headache. Elizabeth laughed when he stopped mid bite and held his forehead, groaning. "I told you that would happen," she said. "Let's take a bit of a break and it will go away in a few minutes.'

From behind them she heard the whispers of a young girl. "Mama, it's Benny. He's in my class. He won't talk to us. He just sits and cries." Elizabeth turned to look over her shoulder and saw a woman probably 10 years older than she was holding hands with a girl, obviously Benny's age, with long brown braids and fair skin.

Elizabeth smiled, even though her guilt engulfed her. Should she have turned down the CIA job in favor of going back to Pittsburgh so she would have help with Benny? He was suffering and it was all her fault. "Benny, is that little girl in your class at school?" He didn't say anything but snuggled closer to her side. She took a deep breath, cursing herself because she still felt insecure around parents that were obviously older than she was. She faced the woman, gave her a big smile, and spoke. "Hi. I'm Elizabeth McCord. I just happened to overhear that Benny is in your daughter's class. I thought I'd introduce myself. I only get to see a few parents at drop off and pick up, so I've only met a few families."

The woman returned her smile, but her eyes surveyed Elizabeth and Elizabeth did her best not to take offense. _Yes, I'm aware that I'm young. No, I'm not a terrible mother._ Elizabeth looked down to Benny whose fists we're clutching her shirt just because he saw a kid from his school. _Who the fuck are you kidding? You are a terrible mother. Look at your son._

"Would it be okay if we joined you?" the woman asked. Elizabeth nodded and turned to Benny, hugging him tight.

"I'm staying. Maybe we can make friends together. What do you say?" Benny shook his head against her side. She squeezed him again. "Well Ben, Mama's kind of lonesome too, so we need to put ourselves out there and see what happens."

By the end of the hour, Elizabeth and Benny we're acquainted with Miriam and her daughter, Bella. After the ice cream, they walked the couple blocks to a local park and the kids played. As Benny spent more time with Bella, he came out of his shell and had a good time. Elizabeth decided to ask the daycare if it was possible to get a class list so she could contact some of the parents and arrange one on one playdates with their children so Benny could get to know them. The thought that Benny spent his days away from her crying nearly broke her heart, and she was frustrated that no one had told her. She planned to fix that on Monday morning.

By the end of the next month, Benny was doing better. He had four or five friends and no longer spent his days sitting and crying. Once Benny was doing better, Elizabeth felt like she was doing better. Working at the CIA was far more challenging than she thought it would be, but the rewards would be great if she made it to that level.

As Henry's graduation from boot camp approached, Elizabeth tried to figure out the best plan. She wanted to go and had been given the two days off to fly out and see him graduate, but should Benny go or not? It almost seemed unfair not to take him, but at the same time she missed Henry desperately and having Benny sleeping between them would present some challenges.

Evelyn came to the rescue without being prompted. She called to ask if Elizabeth would mind her tagging along. She'd never been to the West coast and she would be happy to keep Benny with her while they were there. Elizabeth bought the airline tickets the next day and suddenly the three weeks seemed doable.

Benny was thrilled to fly and the pilot gave him a set of pilots' wings to pin on his shirt and his trip was made. He took turns sitting on Elizabeth's and Evelyn's lap and talked nonstop to anyone who would listen. "I going to see my Daddy at soldier school. I missed him so much."

Elizabeth sat in the window seat, her jaw set, her eyes closed. She tried to keep her breathing regulated and ignore Benny's jabbering. She felt Evelyn reach over and squeeze her hand. "He's fine," she said, referring to Benny's restlessness. Elizabeth gave her a slight smile and nodded her head, but that wasn't the real issue.

She and Henry had been practically inseparable for four years and now they hadn't had any contact for the last 3 months. Elizabeth told herself that it was only three months, that they would be fine, but there was the constant undercurrent in her thoughts that once he was away from her, he wouldn't want to come back. She was desperate to see him because she missed him so much and yet, she was afraid that seeing him would allow her to see that he'd moved on.

By the time the plane landed, Elizabeth felt nauseous. She forcefully swallowed the saliva that pooled in her mouth, pushing it past the lump in the back of her throat. They walked down the jetway as Benny danced around her feet, excitedly chanting "See Daddy."

"Benny! Stop!" Elizabeth hissed. She took his hand and half tugged him along as she walked to the baggage claim. His lip poked out and he ran to keep pace.

Elizabeth felt Evelyn's hand on her shoulder and in that moment she regretted bringing her mother-in-law along. The last thing she wanted was for Evelyn to see her marriage dissolve. She felt Evelyn's disapproving eyes on her and she bit the inside of her cheek and turned away, trying not to meet the older woman's gaze.

"Benny, hon? Want a piggyback ride?" Evelyn asked. The boy giggled and immediately pulled his hand from Elizabeth's. Evelyn easily swung her grandson over her shoulder and he landed on her back. "Hold on tight," she said, bouncing him with each skipping step she took. Evelyn spun around and walked backwards, eyeing Elizabeth, despite Elizabeth's attempts to avoid it. "Tell mama to relax. It will be okay."

"Relax mama," Benny parroted and Elizabeth rolled her eyes at both of them.

Henry sat on his foot locker at the end of his bunk with his head in his hands. Each day, he'd marked off on the calendar. One day closer to seeing his family. Now, the day had come and he couldn't explain his apprehension. Perhaps it was because Benny was so young. Had he really understood what it meant when Henry explained why he would be gone? Would he even remember him? Would he be angry and feel abandoned? Then there was Elizabeth, she was starting a new job in a male dominated field. She was so smart and quick witted and beautiful. Would she meet someone who would try to woo her? Would she be lonely enough to act on that? They had been through so many things together, and loved each other so deeply. It would be enough, wouldn't it?

A fellow soldier clapped him on the back. "It's time McCord. Let's go." Henry pulled himself to his feet praying that all would go well in the coming hours and days.

Family members were waiting in a large auditorium when the Marines came in. The soldiers were given final orders and then allowed to disband. Henry scanned the room to find them. "Daaaaadddddddyyyyy,' Benny called out, racing through the crowd of people. Henry made eye contact just as Benny launched himself toward Henry. Henry bent down and scooped him up. Benny cried into his neck. "You a soldier now, right Daddy? You comin' home?"

"Yes, son, Daddy's coming home." He squeezed Benny tightly. "I missed you so much." Benny wiggled against him and struggled to get down. Henry looked quizzically at him. "What?"

"Mama needs lovin' too." Benny leaned into Henry's ear. "Mama thinks she sneaky, but I hear when she cries at bedtime. She misses you lots and lots." Henry gave Benny one more squeeze and released him to the ground.

Looking up he saw Elizabeth and all of the apprehension he had disappeared. They each took a step toward each other and he pulled her tight against him. He felt the tension leave her body as she sagged against him and he had to physically hold her up. "I love you so much," she sobbed into his chest.

"I will always show up for you. Always."


	16. Chapter 16

AN: Well folks, this is the end. thanks for taking the ride with me! I have a few other things already written that I'll put up in the coming days, so there will at least be something new to read. I very much appreciate all of the positive feedback I receive. It means the world to me. I hope you enjoy this last chapter.

Chapter 16

September 1994

Elizabeth sat on the back step of the McCord home in Pittsburgh watching Henry and Benny play catch. Both were having a good time and she was so thankful. It had been tough in the months since Henry left the Marines and was now back home for good. Benny was used to Henry only being around for short periods of time and when he didn't leave, Benny became angry and defiant at the change in routine and expectations.

Henry tried not to take it personally, but it was hard and because Henry was focused so much on Benny, marriage issues took a back seat. Add to that, Henry had to transition to academia, accepting a job as an adjunct professor. For a while, all three were just out of sorts. Now though, finally, through a lot of patience, they were back on an even keel-just in time to have it all upset again. Elizabeth rubbed her very round belly. Baby McCord number two was due in ten weeks. Benny would most likely turn 8 just before their new baby girl, Stephanie, arrived. Benny spent eight years being the only child, almost half of that spent with Elizabeth alone. She sighed, it seemed that a lot of the time, Benny took the brunt of their life changes. They had been trying to prepare him, but he seemed oblivious to their efforts.

"Mom!" A sweaty boy, ran across the yard, halting right in front of her. "I'm thirsty. Can I get a drink?"

"Sure. Ask Grams. I think there is lemonade in the fridge and if you ask very nicely, I bet she'll let you have one of the popsicles that's in the freezer." A wide smile, broke across his face.

"Grams!' he shouted, barrelling around Elizabeth into the house. Elizabeth chuckled softly

Henry sauntered across the yard and sat beside her. "How are you feeling?" he asked, leaning in to kiss her behind the ear. She giggled and squirmed away.

"Stop that." She swatted him away, but he could tell she was amused. "I'm feeling good. Thank you." Henry placed his hand on her belly and stroked it softly. "I'm glad it's different this time." She looked up at him.

"Do you know how guilty I feel?" she murmured. "I wish I could've enjoyed being pregnant the first time."

"Let it go, babe. We were doing the best we could. Things were hard. And, besides, it turned out well."

Benny had tiptoed out the back door with the intention of surprising his mom and dad, but listening to them talk, his face fell and he quietly went back inside. He flopped down on the couch and curled up into a ball. Patrick looked over from his recliner. He noted Benny's agitated state and studied him for a moment. "You okay?"

"Sure. I'm fine," came the muffled response from the pillow.

Patrick rolled his eyes muttering, "So much like your father."

He moved to the couch and pulled Benny up and tucked him under his arm. "Alright. Spill it,"

Benny pursed his lips and narrowed his eyes and then let the tears fall. "They didn't want me."

"What? Who?" Patrick was confused.

"Mom and dad. Mom just said that she didn't enjoy being pregnant with me. She didn't want me, but she wants baby Stevie." Benny's eyes pricked with tears and he started to cry.

Patrick sucked in air through his clenched teeth, "Aw, shit," he muttered under his breath. Evelyn came down the steps with a laundry basket on her hip. Patrick turned and looked at her wide eyed.

Evelyn narrowed her eyes at Patrick wondering what inconsiderate thing he'd offhandedly said now, when he spoke, "You need to go get them now," and pointed to the back of the house. Evelyn dropped the basket at the bottom of the stairs and headed outside.

Sticking her head out the back door, both Henry and Elizabeth turned. "You guys need to come inside. Benny's upset about something and your father looks like he's way out of his league." Henry and Elizabeth looked at each other for a moment, and then Henry stood and pulled Elizabeth to her feet.

They entered the living room and Benny was still sobbing against Patrick who looked more uncomfortable than Elizabeth had ever seen him. "What?" Elizabeth mouthed. Patrick just shook his head. He wasn't going to be able to explain with Benny sobbing in his lap.

Henry knelt on the floor next to Benny. "Hey buddy. What is it? Why are you so upset?" Anger flashed across Benny's face.

"You didn't want me. You only want the baby you are having now." Henry reached out for his son, but was pushed away as Benny curled up in Patrick's lap.

"No. That isn't true. Why would you say that?" Elizabeth moved from her spot near the kitchen and sat on the couch.

"Because just now, you said you didn't enjoy being pregnant with me. I just heard you." Elizabeth dropped her head. "Don't tell me you didn't mean it how it sounded."

She cupped her hands around Benny's head. "Benjamin Patrick, you listen to me right now. There is a lot that you are too young to understand about all the things that happened before you were born, but one thing is true. You are loved so very much. We could never want this baby or possibly love this baby more than we wanted you and love you." She leaned in and kissed his forehead. "We love you to the moon and back, both of you."

Henry took Benny's hand and tugged him off of Patrick's lap and into his own. "Benny." Henry rested his head against his son's. "I started praying for you and your mom the moment I found out you existed. Every day of your life. You and this baby that's coming to our family are the greatest, most important things I've ever done in my life. I love you with all my heart."

Benny turned in Henry's lap so he straddled it. He hugged Henry tight. "Don't go away Daddy. I love you."

Evelyn appeared with a present and offered it to Benny. "This was supposed to be for your mom, but I think she'll be okay with me sharing it with you." He took the gift and opened it. It was a picture frame and it held the picture of Henry kissing Elizabeth's pregnant belly taken on their wedding day. "You should never worry about whether or not you were loved or wanted. You can see that you were both in this picture."

Elizabeth peered over Benny's shoulder to see the picture and gasped. "How come I've never seen this? I didn't even know it existed."

Evelyn grinned. "I had Erin take it that day because I knew you would want it. It's a gorgeous photo, don't you think?" Elizabeth nodded, leaning down to run her fingers over the surface, tracing her belly and Henry.

"We were so happy that day," Henry whispered.

"We still are," Elizabeth agreed. "And we love our Benny." She leaned down to kiss him on the top of the his head. He looked up at her and smiled.

April 1999

Benny walked into the kitchen cradling a whimpering Allison. "Mom, Ali is hungry."

"Thanks hon. I was headed up to get her, but you saved me a trip. Are you headed outside?"

"Uh, yeah. I was going to shoot some hoops." But, Benny followed Elizabeth into the living room instead of going out the back door. Elizabeth got comfortable in the chair and started to feed Allison, Benny's one month old sister.

"Is it alright if Stevie sits by the garage and draws with chalk?" Elizabeth asked absentmindedly. Benny nodded, but continued to loiter near her, causing Elizabeth to pay closer attention "What's up?" Benny shrugged, tracing circles on the back of the couch with his index finger. "You obviously want to ask me something, so just ask."

Benny shifted from one foot to the other before he finally mustered the courage to speak. "You know how we've been studying the human body in science class." Elizabeth nodded. "And the other day we learned about reproduction, and how it takes about 9 months for a human baby to develop before being born." Elizabeth nodded again, guessing where Benny was going to with his line of thought.

"So anyway, I was born in October, 1986 and you were married in July, 1986, right? Well that's only three full months."

"That's correct," Elizabeth replied.

"So you were already pregnant with me when you married Dad?" Benny looked skeptical.

"Yes. I was," Elizabeth answered matter of factly, doing her best to keep her expression completely even. It had been a while since she'd dealt with much judgement concerning her pre-marriage pregnancy and she hadn't expected it to come from her son, at least not today.

Benny sat down on the couch, obviously confused. "I thought you needed to be married to have a baby."

"Honestly, it helps to be married to work together to raise a baby, but you don't have to be married to physically make a baby."

"Oh," Benny sat quietly. Elizabeth waited for Benny to lead the conversation. There were many things she could say, but she didn't want to muddy the waters with information Benny didn't want to know or understand. "Is Dad my real Dad?"

"Yes, absolutely."

"Is that why you didn't like being pregnant with me, because you weren't married?" Elizabeth's brows knitted together. She hoped she was eloquent enough to explain so Benny understood. "That one day a long time ago at Grams and Grandpa's house, you told Dad that you didn't enjoy being pregnant with me? Is that why?"

Elizabeth sighed. "I remember. Yes, partially, but there were other things too. I was very young and scared, and I didn't know how to be a mom and I didn't have a plan. But, your Grams and Grandpa took me in and your dad and I got married and he made sure we were both taken care of." Elizabeth looked over at Benny who was staring at the floor. "You're so very blessed that you ended up with Henry McCord as your father. He's the best example of what a man should be, and you're growing up to be just like him. Somewhere out there is a girl who doesn't even understand how lucky she will be when she falls for you."

"Ew, Mom, that's not going to happen for a long time," Benny said, mortified.

"Hopefully not too soon." She smiled. "I love you Benny. I want you to know that even though having you when I did wasn't part of the original plan, I've never once wished it hadn't happened."

Benny gave her that lopsided Henry McCord half-grin and stood. "Thanks Mom." He turned his attention upstairs. "Stevie, do you want to go outside and draw while I shoot hoops." Elizabeth heard several thumps coming from above her head and then four year old Stevie appeared on the steps. "Come on squirt. Let's go." Stevie scrambled down the stairs and placed her hand in her brother's and he led her through the kitchen and outside.

July 2003

"Hey Dad. Do you think I could ask you something?" Henry looked up from his desk where he was grading papers.

"Sure bud. What's going on?" Henry leaned back in his chair and looked at his 16 year old son. Benny stood in the doorway with his hands jammed in his pockets, staring at the ground. His slightly too long sandy brown hair hung down, covering his eyes. "How about we go shoot a few hoops?" Henry offered. Benny didn't answer, but stepped back from the doorway and headed into the kitchen. When Henry heard the back door open, he decided that Benny had taken him up on his offer.

After 20 minutes of taking turns shooting the basketball from different areas of the driveway, Benny spoke. "How do you know if the girl you like is the one for you?" The basketball bounced off the backboard and rolled around the rim before falling off the edge. "Like how did you know you were in love with Mom?"

Henry snagged the ball as it started to roll down the driveway. "Our relationship started a little different than you and Julie. But, before Mom, I had a girlfriend for 2 years. I thought she was the one. And I was devastated when she broke up with me. In fact, the night I met your mom, I spent a long time boo-hooing about how she broke my heart." Henry chuckled and Benny looked mortified.

"Mom doesn't seem like the kind of person that would appreciate you talking about how you loved someone else."

Henry shot the ball. "Well, we weren't really anything then. But it wasn't very long after I met your mom that she consumed all of my thoughts and once we started spending time together, I found that I would do almost anything to keep her from being sad or hurt. The moment she was more important than anything I could want or do for myself, that's when I knew I was in love with her."

Henry studied Benny as he attempted to focus on shooting the ball. "Do you think Julie is the one?"

"She means a lot to me Dad."

"Have you had sex?" Henry avoided eye contact, but could feel Benny recoil.

"Dad!"

Henry turned to face his son. "Look. I'm not so much older than you that I don't remember what it was like, and I can lecture you about waiting until you find the one you're going to be with forever. But, the fact is that sometimes we think we've found that person and it's not, or you may think something won't last and it's forever. Anyway, my advice. First, talk to her. If you're too embarrassed to have a serious conversation about sex, you probably don't need to be having sex. Second, when the condoms run out you are finished. Don't think you can get away without one even once."

"Dad. This is beyond awkward. Can we talk about something else?"

"As long as you understand what I'm saying," Henry replied and Benny nodded before sending the basketball swishing through the net.

January 2005

"Mom! I'm 18. You are being ridiculous. Why do you or Dad feel like you have to tag along to everything? I can take care of myself." Benny paced the end of the kitchen, while Elizabeth finished putting lunches together for Stevie and Alison. Four year old Jason sat at the foot of the stairs loading dinosaurs into his backpack to take for preschool show and tell.

"Toast?" Stevie asked, offering Benny a piece, slathered in grape jelly. He took it. "You might as well give it up," she said. "You're the favorite. They go to all of your stuff."

"I'll gladly give them to you," Benny grumbled. "You can be the favorite. I can't do anything by myself."

Henry came down the stairs having caught the gist of the conversation. "Your mother and I both know how it feels not to have your parents at important events, and we don't want you to ever feel like that if we can help it."

"I'd like to try it out sometime for myself," Benny mumbled under his breath. "It feels like you go just to keep tabs on me. I mean really. It's the National Speech and Debate Tournament. What could I possibly do?"

Henry raised his eyebrows and grinned, stepping in behind Elizabeth, he wrapped his hands around her middle. Placing a kiss on her temple, he said, "Well at our last National tournament, we made you!" Elizabeth giggled and pushed her elbow into Henry's side.

Benny's face screwed up in disgust. "Ew, seriously? Why did I need to know that?". He shook his head. "Sometimes you guys could share just a little less."

"Perhaps." She shrugged. "Either way, Jace and I will be in attendance. Get over it son." Elizabeth smiled and kissed Benny's cheek. "Let's go."

The kids all filed out of the house and into their respective cars to be transported to school. Henry stood on the porch watching them and Elizabeth came up behind him. "Do you want to join us. Relive our youth?"

Henry grinned and turned his back on the kids and took Elizabeth into his arms, kissing her passionately. "I'd need to show up with a whole box of protection or we might end up with number five."

"It wouldn't be such a terrible thing would it?" she asked, looking up at him.

"Not when they turn out as great as ours. But we probably shouldn't push our luck." Henry laughed, and they headed down the porch hand in hand, realizing they had come full circle.


End file.
